Constantly Lying to Men About What Women Want Keeps Them Miserable and Alone

 

Guys who keep complaining that women want dominant men with 6-pack abs and 6-figure incomes remind me of people who keep finding excuses for not doing the work to get ahead in life.

‘I can’t go jogging today, because it’s cold.’

‘I can’t go jogging today, because it’s hot.’

‘I can’t go jogging today, because there’s that cloud in the sky and it might rain this time tomorrow.’

Etc.

I actually heard this exact line from a very close male friend:
‘I know why I can’t get women: it’s because I refuse to be an asshole like other men are, and obviously, that’s what women want.

The horror… It’s frustrating. It’s sad. And it’s not true.

It leaves both women and men lonely, driven further and further apart from the healthy and fulfilling relationships that they crave.
What’s worse is that… it’s not their fault.

The way pick-up artists and various self-proclaimed alpha males with something to sell manipulate men, it’s no wonder so many of them are joining the MGTOW community.

These snake oil salesmen work on men’s psyche the same way the beauty industry manipulates women into being constantly unhappy with themselves.

‘Men like big boobs — do you have them? No? You’re not good enough.’
‘Women like tall men. Are you one? No? You’re not good enough.’

That’s not to say that men don’t like big boobs or that women don’t like tall men. But neither boob size nor man size is vital to whether you’ll get a partner or not.

It’s a preference, not a must.

If women were only into 6 ft. tall guys and men only into big boobs, what are all those short men and flat-chested women doing married, raising families, and enjoying life together?

We need to take what “they” tell us with a grain of salt. All of us, women and men.

If somebody is trying to sell you something, or keep you hooked on something, isn’t it logical that there’s more money to be made if they don’t actually give you the right answer?

Once you have it, once you’re happy, you’re done buying.

Isn’t it more profitable for a pick-up artist to keep you unsuccessful in finding a partner so that you keep buying his courses?

Maybe this book will work, or maybe this course, or maybe there’s something wrong with you.

Maybe you’re not aggressive enough, or rich enough, or maybe your eyes are the wrong color!

Of course, not all are like that, but most of them are only interested in taking your money, not in helping you succeed.

You might think they need proof that their product is successful to sell more of it. But they don’t. Testimonials can be faked. Reviews can be faked.

Anything can be faked to tell you that people who look like you, talk like you, and earn like you can win in life. But only if you buy their product. It’s the only way, apparently.

They don’t need you to win. They need you to buy. And once you win, you stop buying.

If you’re a man who wants to be with a woman, ask your women friends what women want.

And if you’re a woman who wants to be with a man, ask your male friends.

Your friends (hopefully) have nothing to sell and they actually know better than the opposite sex what their own sex wants. Despite what pick-up artists tell you, both women and men know what they want in a partner.

No, women are not lying about liking jerks. Women really don’t like jerks! Stop trying to prove otherwise, all you’re doing is adding to your own cognitive dissonance.

But when an idea has been drilled down into your head so hard and from all sides, you start believing it no matter what the truth is.

The idea that it’s all about the money or about the penis size or about the height and 6-pack are all used to keep men in their place.

Let’s face it, most men don’t have a huge penis, are not extra tall, and will never be wealthy or have a 6 pack.

Most men are average from every point of view because that’s how averages work.

Averages are made of most people.

Just like the great majority of women will never be thin, with huge breasts, A Ph. D in world peace, and a vacation house in the Bahamas. You don’t see that very often, do you?

These ideals are constantly pushed to make people miserable, angry, and with a huge need to curb their negative feelings. And how do they do that?

By buying products they don’t really need. Products that don’t even work. Some situations are not immediately attainable (think wealth) and some are beyond our control (think height).

There’s nothing more frustrating than a situation you have no control over.

And even worse, if somebody keeps telling you it’s the only way, you will eventually believe it and you will eventually buy their product just for the illusion that it will take you where you want to be.

Let me be very clear: the looks, the money, the dick — yes, they’re nice to have. But they are not must-haves. Have never been and never will be.

Would I like a billion dollars? Absolutely!

Am I happy without it? Yes!

Eventually, after trying the product over and over again, and having very little success with it, men are beaten down into believing not that the product is bad, but that they are bad.

They start hating themselves because they’re not tall enough or rich enough to get a woman, and they start hating women for only being into Chads.

They become resentful, violent, and misogynistic.

That’s when women start hating them back and the circle is complete — nobody’s happy.

Men will buy more guns. Women will buy more shoes. None of us need neither shoes or guns. What we need is connection. On both sides.

Men need to understand that they don’t need to be Chris Hemsworth riding in on a wild stallion at sunset. Most women would probably say yes to that, but for nothing more than a hot hookup or a wet fantasy.

Chads are not your competition. Your own mind is competing you right out of the game.

Men need to stop selling themselves short no matter how short they are.

Everyday women want everyday men. They want to feel safe, loved, cherished, and accepted for who they really are.

They’re just human. Treat them kindly and treat yourself the same.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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