Do we really put less thought into Father’s Day because we value Moms more than Dads?
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I can remember every gift I ever gave my dad and uncles for Father’s Day. That’s because I rotated through the same types of gifts; ties, watches, something sports-related, or a gift certificate to a restaurant they enjoyed. Year after year, it was the same conversation. In fact, we all have the universal set up with dads, husbands, and grandfathers when June rolls around.
“What do you want for Father’s Day?”
Typically, guys respond with “nothing”. Other times, it’s literal silence.
Shopping for men in general is difficult. Shopping for a man who’s a father is nearly impossible. Fathers aren’t celebrated enough in society at large. So the thought of receiving a gift honoring fatherhood, after all of these years, still hasn’t latched in the male psyche.
Part of the reason fathers may not be as warm to the idea of Father’s Day gifts as mothers are about their special holiday is because the day itself doesn’t give many options for gift giving.
When you see commercials and store advertisements of department stores promoting Father’s Day sales, the overwhelming majority of it is clothing. Departments make a killing on their shirt and tie combos in June. However, what about dads who aren’t that trendy? Or dads (like mine) who hate ties? Not all dads wear those hideous Dad jeans and Polo shirts.
It then dawned on me a few days ago that perhaps we just don’t put that much thought into gifts for dad because we don’t value fatherhood as much as we do motherhood.
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There’s always cologne and grooming products. Cologne is often the perfect gift for any man at any occasion. A few years before my dad passed away, I found a new cologne that I loved. Father’s Day became the best opportunity to gift it to him. Cologne, while a convenient and useful gift, can be tricky because factors such as pH and allergies come into play. Ultimately, much like the other gifts of years past, the cologne set collected dust.
I’ve consulted different gift guides and tried to think outside of the box regarding Father’s Day gifts. After perusing some reliable sites, I kept seeing the same types of items included on these lists. There was no creativity or originality. It then dawned on me a few days ago that perhaps we just don’t put that much thought into gifts for dad because we don’t value fatherhood as much as we do motherhood.
Mother’s Day is a grandiose celebration of womanhood and motherhood collectively. People genuinely put thought into the gifts they give to mothers. Last month, when I went to Hallmark to pick up a card, I could barely turn around in the aisle without bumping into someone. Not only do we have a myriad of gift options, but we get to treat the moms in our lives to the finest of five star brunches in fancy downtown or midtown restaurants. Dad? He gets a home-cooked brunch–which he very well may prefer–and the big piece of chicken.
We’re comfortable not spending a lot of money on fathers or putting much thought into their gifts because we don’t do that for men as a whole.
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The two holidays reflect the gender roles in society. We’re comfortable not spending a lot of money on fathers or putting much thought into their gifts because we don’t do that for men as a whole. But Dad deserves a little better than that.
Fatherhood is an incredible, transformative phase of a man’s life. Dads and men should experience the celebration of that honor with the hype as mothers.
So as Father’s Day closes in, resist the urge to let the roulette wheel decide what gift Dad gets that he won’t use. This year, give your dad or the dads in your life an experience that makes him feel valued as a man and reminds him what being a father is really all about.
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Photo: Getty Images
Personally, I just want my kids to not fight on Sunday.
After that, just something thoughtful. It drives me nuts with these gift lists that have no items under $200 and most things equate money with love.
I’d take a thoughtful handwritten note in a handmade card over anything else.