Jesse Bradley considers where our spiritual scars come from, drawing from his many years as a pastor listening to people share their stories and experiences.
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How many times have you wondered, whispered, or wrestled with this question? I don’t think you’re alone. Most of us hit a point where life and pain and our own evaluation of this life leads us to ask some core questions. Spiritual scars are usually deep and painful. They are usually rooted in disappointment and rejection. What has shaped your view of God? I believe you can connect to God, and that this God we’re all growing to know and understand is partially mystery, but has revealed himself to us. Here are a few key circumstances and experiences that get in the way of our clear vision of believing and knowing the God of the universe, who has revealed to us that he is LOVE.
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A Harsh Parent
A mean parent can drive their children away from God for many years, especially if that same parent is religious, pious, and seen by other people as supremely holy. Self-righteous and dedicated in the church building, but a bully at home is a brutal combination. Parental hypocrisy can confuse and damage the spiritual life of the brightest and most sincere children. When mom or dad neglects their child for bogus religious reasons, a child can assume that God is not interested in them too!
Bogus Religion
Instead of a vibrant relationship with God, many people grow up experiencing empty traditions, random rules, impossible standards, and dead services. “Boring and irrelevant” would be a kind description of some religious programs and events, but that’s not all there is. Legalism tells you: the kind of movies you watch are more important than what is in your heart. It is a message that steals life instead of giving it. At the core, legalism is simply man-made regulations that exhaust and discourage people while spreading the message that you and your “performance” are unlovable and an absolute failure. This is false teaching. It’s not what the teaching of Jesus is about and it has produced a warped view of God for millions of people.
We simply do not know all of the reasons why God allows suffering. Sadly, religious leaders sometimes add insult to the injury with an absurd exclamation point that arrives through their misguided explanations.
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Massive Injustice
How do I describe the devastation when a friend of mine in Dallas, Texas was killed by a drunk driver? How can so many women be raped and forced into human trafficking? Why is there so much racism? Do you know innocent people who are falsely accused and criminals who escape punishment? The list of difficult questions feels endless and the void of answers can produce spiritual conclusions. Victims can begin to assume they must have done something terribly wrong and God is against them. When tragedy strikes, it can be easy to conclude that an all powerful God should have stopped it. Our world isn’t functioning the way it was meant to be, the choices humans make often lead to these tragedies and hopeless situations. We simply do not know all of the reasons why God allows suffering. Sadly, religious leaders sometimes add insult to the injury with an absurd exclamation point that arrives through their misguided explanations. For example, Jesus’ disciples asked him if the cause of a man blind from birth was his sin or his parents’ sin; Jesus correctly replied, “Neither!” (John chapter 9, verses 1-3). Have you ever had false accusations and guilt dumped on you like the blind man’s family received?
Paradigm Shift
People who are trapped in legalism often cling to what is familiar even if their souls are choking to death. If you have told all of your family and friends for decades that God does not exist, you might not want to consider all of the profound historical and scientific evidence that points to an intelligent and loving Creator. For someone who is convinced that God hates their guts, it is a miracle to see their heart opens again to a different conclusion. With friendships, marriage, career, and spiritual choices, beginning a new direction in life takes a tremendous amount of courage.
The Irony of David
…grace that heals the spiritual wounds in your life, grace that enables you to sing again and forgive after you have been the victim of a horrible injustice, and grace that moves our false perceptions that we are worthless and have no chance for peace with God.
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At his best, David was the greatest king in the history of Israel, humbly serving, writing songs and poetry, uniting his country, protecting the innocent, and becoming a man after God’s own heart. At his worst, David was sleeping with another man’s wife, proud, neglecting his role as a father, and devising cover-up plans for his own sin which included having people killed to preserve his own image. Can you relate to this extreme dichotomy? God did not despise David at his lowest points, but gave the king additional chances to walk in the light. The truth is that every person is made in God’s image, loved by God, full of potential and wonderfully made. At the same time, we all make bad decisions, fail, and rebel. Our need for forgiveness and reconciliation is part of our human story, and the Bible tells us the story of that forgiveness and love. You don’t have to be perfect to be lovable. That’s a relief.
Fierce Grace
I did not grow up going to church or reading the Bible. My first significant exposure to spirituality came during my Freshman year at Dartmouth College when I enrolled in a class covering an introduction to the world’s religions. None of the commands or morals that I read transformed my life as noble as they are. Grace is an undeserved gift and challenges the notion that God does not and will not love you. Years ago, a friend of mine treated me to a sushi dinner and then handed me the keys to his Ford Mustang! What would you do if someone tried to give you an incredible present like this? Yes, I did drive it home but it was humbling to embrace such a valuable gift. Which is more difficult for you: extending grace or being the recipient?
I’ve experienced the grace of God to be fierce because He pursues us even after we have declared that we do not want to have anything to do with it. Extending grace to you is the opposite of hating your guts. It is grace that covers David’s painful choices, grace that woos the legalist, grace that heals the spiritual wounds in your life, grace that enables you to sing again and forgive after you have been the victim of a horrible injustice, and grace that moves our false perceptions that we are worthless and have no chance for peace with God. Each person is on their own spiritual journey, but Jesus changed my stubborn heart because of this amazing of grace and truth I found as I took a second look at christianity and didn’t find religion, but love.
Guts
When I lived in Scotland, I tried to eat haggis. After a small bite, mentally I was ‘one and done’ with the new substance. I am still stunned to hear people describe haggis as a savory pudding, simmering goodness encased in the animal’s stomach for hours before being ready to eat. The concept of food stored in an animal’s guts does not cause my mouth to water.
Many people have lost their spiritual appetite and have closed themselves off to considering that the God of the universe is actually good. When you have spiritual scars, even the mention of God can feel like haggis on your taste buds. Intestines are not our most attractive body part, but God does not despise your guts; I’ve found that He adores them.
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“Want to know more about how men are experiencing the soulful side of life, check out more articles at Good for the Soul”
Photo:Flickr/Digital Medium
In my experience, the grace shown me by God has made all the difference in the way I live my life. Knowing the forgiveness given to me by a loving Savior changes the way I look at other people. Because God loves me, I love others more. Because He forgave me, I forgive easier. The grace shown me has changed my life forever. I now have a relationship with my Creator.
It’s not wrong to have faith, but being human we are imperfect and let our ego and vanity get in the way of the true message. Add to that “holy men” who are supposed to be leaders that call for sacrifice while making none of their own, use their followers as cannon fodder, or abuse the children they are supposed to be protecting. War, crime and poverty were all created by man. I have a harder time reconciling with diseases and natural disasters that take life for no apparent reason.
Yeah, same. A indifferent world and openly so is better than a benevolent but apparently incompetent/malevolent being.
A godless universe, you at least get what it says on the tin.
Whelp, I clearly misread part of your comment. deeeeerp 😀
Video …. Blest are they. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chqY9S1Lm2w
One of my favorite songs is: BLEST ARE THEY by David Haas 1. Blest are they, the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of God. Blest are they, they, full of sorrow, they shall be consoled. REFRAIN: Rejoice and be glad! Blessed are you, holy are you! Rejoice and be glad! Yours is the kingdom of God! 2. Blest are they, the lowly ones, they shall inherit the earth. Blest are they who hunger and thirst, they shall have their fill. (REFRAIN) 3. Blest are they who show mercy, mercy shall be theirs. Blest are they, the pure of… Read more »