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When I was the kid pretending to be Kato from “The Green Hornet” playing on the grass picnic field at Ala Moana Park, it never occurred that one day I would be as old as am now. 56 years-old. That’s getting up there. Whoa. Life occurs within a blink of an eye.
Personally, I have a theory that may work. Years seem to flow quicker as you get older because the passage of a single year diminishes in magnitude relative to the years you have lived. In my case, one year passed equates to 1/56 of my life. Getting older, the consequent relative passage of time continues to collapse. Each year fractionally shrinks, for the finite amount of time. Do the math.
Watching this particular TV commercial for shoe orthotics always brings a smile. The cute 12-year-old ballerina girl, who suffered from foot and knee pain, rejoices on camera in getting her orthotic inserts. No, her physical discomfort is not funny in any context.
She smiles, “Where have these been all my life?” Yeah, for her waiting something like three years, that’s one-fourth of her life at this juncture. That’s a long time, relatively speaking. Relative definitely counts.
Older occurs in both velocity and acceleration. Growing older is what it is to be human. Older is the journey. All journeys shall complete when they do. Thus, resisting or fighting against older is not an option. Rather, wisdom is in acceptance. Time’s record is undefeated, all by knockout.
That I grow old gracefully is my sincerest hope. That’s also going to take a lot of work. That we discover acceptance and awaken in the journey is what’s possible. So how do I grow old gracefully? How do you?
Honestly, I believe we each define our own older. This is not the one-size-fits-all phenomena. The crucial aspect in defining your unique older is: Practice the art of letting go, of acceptance of self. Let go of the unfulfilled expectations. Let go of being right. Yeah, like that’s really going to make a difference after I’m gone. Others will all say, “You know Jon was right about this…”? No, they’re not.
Werner Erhard said, “Anything that you can let be, lets you be.” Let go to be free. Let go to be more of you. I hope others remember that I was kind, for the most part, and that I assisted others to discover greater on their journeys. Perhaps, I wasn’t all about me, at least some of the time.
I’ve dedicated mind, body, and spirit in my journey for greater in Aikido with Sensei Dan, and now Sensei Bobby. When someone says, “Age is all in your mind,” I say, “bullshit.” Those who say so have never committed to the physical discipline like Aikido, martial arts or professional sports that require intense physical, spiritual and mindful resilience. You endure the intensely physical, mental, and emotional training because your Sensei sees the greater within you. Sensei sees the greater that you can’t yet recognize.
Yes, age is in my mind. Age is in my knees, my back, and my wrists. Age is in the thousands of falls I’ve taken surrendering to mastery. Age is a prerequisite in that pursuit of greater than, I know.
So, looking back, would I have done it again? Absolutely. Without hesitation. Aikido gives me purpose. Aikido gives me life. I will never be the greatest. That was never the purpose, at all.
I became greater than the previous version of myself because of those who came before me, like Sensei and Bobby. Older crystallizes the things that matter most, like love and peace. Older is giving of yourself to others so that we all become greater.
Older is the bigger picture; not sweating the smaller shit. Even in my forties, I worried about almost everything. A lot of that worry for me sourced from my childhood at home, my experience of fear. Yet, I had to reconcile that, and continue to grow. Grant me my grace. Forgive others. Forgive me.
My Lesson of Older: Give life my all. If that’s not good enough for some, then use the prayer I got from Actor Sir Anthony Hopkins: Fuck it. Keep it very simple.
Older arises in the balance of up and down. The downside is the variant physical and mental decline, which is inevitable. I endure forgetting what I’m shopping for in the Vons grocery aisle. The vast upside is freedom, to authentically express who I am to the world. I really don’t care if the world likes me back.
The wisdom of growing older is in listening to those who have your back, the ones who stand beside you, and dismissing the faceless haters. Older is the freedom to be more of you. You get to exhale. Older is the greater you.
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Photo credit: Pixabay