Time Magazine’s Person of the Year 2023, Billionaire, Singer, Songwriter Taylor Swift dropped her 1989 Taylor’s Version, including her new song Slut.
Taylor sings:
Got love-struck, went straight to my head
Got lovesick all over my bed
Love to think you’ll never forget
We’ll pay the price, I guess
But if I’m all dressed up
They might as well be looking at us
And if they call me ‘slut!’
You know it might be worth it for once
And if I’m gonna be drunk
I might as well be drunk in love
Right now, Taylor might be the GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) Music Superstar on Planet Earth. Although, I’m too old to be a Swiftie, I’m a big Taylor fan as a gifted songwriter and singer. She continually works on being the best songwriter and singer that she can be. The late NBA Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant said of Taylor’s work ethic and dedication, “You can’t have that level of success and not be a killer.” Authentic flowers coming from Kobe.
That being said, Taylor’s song Slut, addressed the media and others’ criticism of her romantic personal life, which is really none of our business. Really. Taylor is 33 years-old. She has dated numerous men throughout her career. Yet, had Taylor been a Man, would there be such shade thrown her way? Only asking. Perhaps, if Taylor were a man, some might say, “He’s the Man.” That’s the condescending cultural double standard and utter bullshit. In fairness, Taylor has thrown some shade on her ex-lovers in her songs over the years. And they know who they are.
Taylor is dating future NFL Hall of Famer Kansas Chiefs Tight-end Travis Kelce. From what I’ve seen, they look like they’re genuinely in love. Travis from what I can tell from interviews and on the field is a Good Man. Still, many in the media say that this Taylor-Travis romance is the elaborate PR stunt. Really? Come on, man! Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift. Travis Kelce is the NFL Superstar. They don’t need the PR. So far, Taylor and Travis are proving the talking heads wrong. The media was quick to judge Taylor. Sometimes, we’re all quick to judge anyone. At least I know, I am.
Jesus said, “The one of you who is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” We’re all imperfectly human. That’s the human design. We all need to remember that. Taylor, may you find love, what we all want, what we all deserve. Nothing, but mad love and respect to Taylor Swift.
Several years ago, I had my first Match dotcom date with Jacqui. Jaqui was beautiful, smart, and so unintentionally funny. After seeing Wonder Woman, which she loved, we had dinner. At dinner, Jacqui asked, “So, why have you never been married?” I’m 5’3″. I’m not handsome. I’m not exactly rich. Kind of obvious. Well, maybe not to some. Just kidding.
Instead of going down that path, I said, “I had given up meeting someone for a long time. You are the first person I wanted to meet in a very long time.” That wasn’t some smooth line. I was authentic as I could be. Turns out that Jacqui had been heartbroken by her ex-husband, who cheated on her.
When Jacqui asked why I had never been married, I got the vibe: Is there something wrong with me? Although, she was very polite and respectful. I answered as truthfully as I could. I dared to be me.
Honestly, Jacqui didn’t need to hear that I hated on myself for most of my adult life. That I had to work on myself with the late Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei in Aikido training, with my therapist Lance Miller, and in my writing on The Good Men Project with my editor Li M Blacker to learn to love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. She didn’t need to hear that I suffered my abusive childhood where Dad scared the hell of out me. That I got I would never be good enough for Dad, that I would never be good enough for anyone, especially me. She didn’t need to know all that. Not at all.
Jacqui and I had a fun evening together. I never her saw her again. I was not what she wanted or what she was looking for. That’s just life.
When someone pisses me off, usually they’re my own reflection. What I need to work on myself, be that my arrogance or even being quick to judge. I don’t know what goes on inside someone else. Still, I can have compassion for what it’s like to be them. I can have mad love and respect for them; not judge. Maybe, they give some mad love and respect back. And the world is a better place for that. That’s my hope.
Before I throw the first stone, before I judge someone else, I need to look inside me first. I have nothing to do with what goes on inside someone else. I do have a say in what goes on inside me. I work on myself, not on others. That’s all I can do. That’s all that we can do. Amen.
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Photo by ROSA RAFAEL on Unsplash