On Monday morning, I stumbled out of bed, made myself a coffee, checked my social media pages, had a shower, went to work, came home, watched Netflix, and then went to bed.
On Tuesday, I did it again.
On Wednesday, I did it again.
Tomorrow, I’ll probably do it again.
However, now and again, I have this existential crisis. An uncomfortable truth emerges from the haze of my day-to-day existence: It feels like I am just killing time until the day I die. Perhaps you’ve felt it too?
Inevitably I turn to Google for answers, where I find pages and pages of mind-numbing rhetoric and self-help courses that I should sign up for (for a fee, of course). Then one day, on about page 11 of Google — the place where no one looks — I found a single question that jumped off the page at me. This is what it said:
“What would an extraordinary version of you do today?”
The question stopped me in my tracks. I reflected on it for quite some time. What would an extraordinary version of me do today? And what would my life look like if I started each day by answering that question? As I gave some more thought, I boiled it down to a few important things — 8, in fact. I developed a key question and a key action point with each point because, hey… I don’t want to write another article of mind-number rhetoric. I want something I can put into practice. So, here are eight things that I know will lead you to a more fulfilling life:
1. Live More
Fact: Every hour, 6316 people die. Death is the only sure thing in life, and we never know when our time will be up. But, the truth is that many of us live our lives like we are never going to die. How would our lives change if we actually lived them as if we had ten years left to live? Or how about one year? Or one month?
Chances are, you would probably get about the task of enjoying the good things that life has set before you — family, friends, and the things that bring you joy. Perhaps, you would want to have specific experiences or even build a legacy that will outlast you. Ironically, if we knew we were going to die, it might actually cause us to live. That is what an extraordinary version of me would do today.
- Key Question: What would you do differently today if you knew you were going to die soon?
- Action Point: Make a list of things you want to do/achieve before you die and do something each day to work towards those goals.
2. Give More
While we are talking about death, here’s another uncomfortable truth. You can’t take any of your wealth with you. An extraordinary version of you freely gives away some of what you have to others in need — your money, time, and energy.
Why give more? Well, there is the obvious benefit to the receiver, but did you know that there are reciprocal benefits to being generous? Studies now suggest that one of the biggest benefactors of generosity is the person who is dishing it out. Like a healthy diet, exercise, and good genes, generosity may increase your life span. A research study at the University of Michigan reveals that the positive effects of generosity include improving one’s mental and physical health and promoting longevity. That’s why an extraordinary version of you gives more away today!
- Key Question: Am I stingy, or could I give away more?
- Action Point: Make a point to give away a portion of your time or money to a needy person or a good cause today.
3. Forgive More
We’ve all been hurt by people. And while we didn’t choose the hurt, we can choose what we do with it. Author Marianne Williamson said, “Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, to forgive the one that inflicted it feels more painful than the wound we suffered. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. In fact, not forgiving is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” Do yourself a favor and find a way to forgive. That is what an extraordinary version of you does today.
- Key Question: Is there someone you need to forgive today?
- Action Point: Forgiveness is no trivial matter and can be a long process. But, start with a resolution to begin that process. (seek professional help if needed).
4. Repair More
Not only have we all been hurt at some point, but sadly, we have also hurt others. An extraordinary version of you recognizes your role in the breakdown of human relationships and resolves to repair those relationships as much as humanly possible (I understand that sometimes it is not possible).
- Key Question: Is there anyone you have hurt or offended, and what do you need to do about it?
- Action Point: Reach out to the person you have hurt, apologize and ask for forgiveness
5. Share More (of you)
Life is too short to pretend to be someone that you’re not. Yet, we invest so much of our time playing the competition and comparison game. We betray who we really are to fit in, to find acceptance, to find worthiness. But an extraordinary version of you doesn’t play that game. I love this quote by Brene Brown: “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness”
The Death of Who I am Not is a terrific poem on a similar theme. An extraordinary version of you recognizes and accepts who you are and who you are not and understands that the key to rich and rewarding relationships is vulnerability — sharing more of you — the real you that is.
- Key Question: Where am I faking it in my life?
- Action Point: Give up a behavior or habit that you are doing just to fit in. Resolve to share more personally and be more authentic with people.
6. Care More
There was a song I used to listen to back in the eighties (so long ago now, I can’t remember the name of the song or the artist), but it contained a rather apt lyric: “Love isn’t love until you give it away.”
So what have you done to show the people you care about that you actually care? Have you done something tangible? Obvious? People tend to be fairly forgetful, so you can’t count on the fact that you said or did something nice one or twice a while ago. Rightly or wrongly, the deal is never sealed when it comes to human relationships. If you haven’t said it recently, it’s as good as unsaid. The extraordinary version of you cares for people more today.
- Key Question: Do the people I care about really know how much I care?
- Action Point: Do something today for a person that you love that shows them that you care.
7. Prepare More
It might be an oft-quoted cliche used by high-school teachers, but the old saying is true — failing to plan is planning to fail. How many of us have these dreams of a better life? How often do they remain merely dreams? It’s time to get out a pen and paper (or your digital equivalent) and work out what you actually want to do in life. It’s time to get unhappy with where you are, and make plans for the future. That is what an extraordinary version of you does today! Don’t put it off any longer!
- Key Question: What do you really want to achieve in life?
- Action Point: Break your long-term goals into smaller, actionable steps. Write them down and record your progress towards them. (bonus life hack: I find the app ‘Strides’ is a fantastic app for this.)
8. Risk More
You miss every shot you don’t take.
I was talking with a friend recently. He was lamenting the fact that he was dead keen on a girl who, in his opinion, was completely out of his league. “Well, why don’t you ask her out for a coffee or something?” I suggested. He balked at the idea. “What have you got to lose?” I pressed.
In the end, it was apparent that a fear of rejection was preventing him from doing the one thing he really wanted to do.
How often do we avoid taking risks because of fear? How often do we miss out on good things because we are afraid? Without being blatantly stupid, an extraordinary version of you resolves to step out in spite of the risks.
By the way, my friend is going on his first date with that girl next week. Who would’ve thought?
- Key Question: What is the one thing I’ve wanted to do but I don’t because I am scared of failing?
- Action Point: Do it. It’s that simple.
What About You?
What about you? What would an extraordinary version of you do today? How would your life be different if you started each day by asking that question? What’s stopping you from starting first thing tomorrow morning? By way of parting inspiration, I’ll leave you with this wonderful poem by Linda Ellis:
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end
He noted that first came her date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years
For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now, only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?
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This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
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Photo credit: iStock
So glad my words have touched your life in a positive way! ~Linda Ellis (Author of The Dash)