Unfortunately, this subjected him to intense and violent bullying from both his family and his peers. After a particularly horrific attack in college, Adrian was eventually able to obtain asylum in the United States, where he found safety and happiness.
Hi, my name is Adrian.
00:06
I am from St. Ann, Jamaica.
00:08
I spent most of my life growing up with my mom in Jamaica.
00:13
It was pretty difficult for me because I found out an early age that I was gay.
00:21
Didn’t really understand much of what it was but I found it really difficult to accept
00:28
and love myself because of what people thought of me.
00:31
My mom did the best she could, but at the same time for her it was more embarrassing
00:36
than anything else.
00:37
You know, people going back to her and being like, “Oh Nadine, your son is gay.”
00:42
My dad hated my guts from the get-go, from the moment he found out.
00:47
And other family members beat and abused me.
00:50
On a daily basis, I would be bullied.
00:53
I would be fighting battles to survive.
00:56
I’ve always had to fight physical fights to make it through the day.
01:02
And whenever it’s a verbal altercation and they would use, like, harsh words.
01:07
like “batty man” and “baby germs,” “maggot” you know, versus saying “gay.”
01:12
I feel like if they said I was gay or called me gay, that would be much better.
01:17
I remember my final year in college just before exams were finishing up, this boy just chose
01:24
to pick on me, pick on me.
01:27
And he was sitting behind me.
01:28
I was sitting in front and he threw – crumpled up a piece of paper and threw it across the
01:34
room and it hit me.
01:35
And everybody pointed and said it was him.
01:39
I threw the paper back at him and I said “Go throw it at your mom,” pretty much.
01:43
And that just made him really pissed.
01:45
We got out of school, like, at 3:00 PM and I met him and two other guys and the school
01:52
gate – this is in college – and they attacked me.
01:57
So this was me wrestling three other guys, you know, because of the fact that I was gay.
02:04
I remember handling them really well.
02:07
Like, you know, it was going in my favor.
02:09
And then out to the blue, one guy just came running [and] hit me in the head.
02:15
Still have the scar to this day.
02:18
And I just fell flat on the ground.
02:20
They ran off and lucky enough, the buses and cars that were passing stopped.
02:29
And I remember someone picking me up and a few hours later, I was in the hospital.
02:35
I woke up with stitches in the head and at that point I said, you know, it’s not going
02:43
to get any better.
02:44
I was doing my finals and I wasn’t finished doing my exams and I had to flee to the United
02:50
States.
02:51
My partner at the time was able to fly me over to New York.
02:55
Once I got here, we discovered that I’m eligible for asylum.
03:00
So after visiting Immigration Equality and them hearing my story, they said, yes, definitely
03:08
you have a case.
03:09
Surprisingly everyone at the school in terms of like the guidance counselor and the principal,
03:17
they were really working with me in helping me to make my affidavits.
03:24
I would reach out to them and they would fax the necessary documents that I needed to make
03:29
my case strong enough to win asylum.
03:31
The hospital was able to submit a medical record of what happened.
03:36
I was able to win asylum and I’m now a citizen of the United States.
03:44
I’m here in New York.
03:45
I’m happy and doing well.
03:48
I finally connected with my family who hated my guts because I’m gay.
03:55
The hardest part for me right now is forgiving them and I’m learning how to forgive, but
03:59
it does take time.
04:01
Hopefully, one day I can move from it and love them and show them that, you know, what
04:08
no matter what, I still I love you.
04:12
Overall everything is good.
04:15
Everything is better and I’m happy with who I am.
04:19
Better is out there and you just have to figure it out.
04:22
You have to be a fighter because if I wasn’t a fighter, if I didn’t want to live a better
04:28
life, I wouldn’t have been here in the United States.
04:32
But I took a chance.
04:33
I came to New York with nothing, no money, nothing.
04:36
And I made it.
04:37
So I would definitely just tell them: fight, hold on, don’t give up, do your research,
04:45
use your resources and figure out a way to live.
04:54
And love yourself.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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