In most cases, the idea of getting back with an ex is coming from a place of loneliness than true regret. The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, right? Well, actually, rekindling things with an old flame, can be very problematic. And of course, a total waste of time. Here’s why.
1. If They Did Something Once, They’ll Probably Gonna Do It Again
“Should I get back with my ex, even though they cheated on me/hit me/ignored my needs/flirted with other people?”. If only I got a dollar every time I heard this question. I would be rich by now. This witticism aside, no, you shouldn’t. If I’ve learned one thing about people, is that if they do something once, they’ll probably gonna do it again at one point or another. People rarely change and once they cross a certain line, there’s no going back. So if your ex cheated on you in the past, they’re likely to cheat on you again in the future. If they flirted with other people while you were together, they’ll still feel the need to flirt with them even after you get back together. So, do yourself a favor and run as far away from them as possible.
2. There’s a Reason You Broke up in the First Place
Breakups happen for a lot of reasons. Maybe it was bad timing, differences, cheating, unmet needs, distance, and so much more. The thing is, your ex is an ex for a reason. You already gave your relationship a try and it failed. The reasons behind your breakup can’t just vanish. They’ll probably get in your way again. I know it sounds cliche, but believe me: everything happens for a reason. The two of you just weren’t meant to be.
3. You Shouldn’t Let Your Loneliness Cloud Your Judgement
Let’s be honest here. When we feel lonely, we tend to romanticize our past and the people we were together with. We suddenly forget about that awful time we caught our ex flirting with someone else and think about that other time when they brought us flowers. Well, that is our loneliness clouding our judgment. You know what they say: never allow your loneliness to lower your standards.
4. You’re One Step Closer to Finding Your Other Half
Now, you can call me a hopeless romantic all you want, but I truly believe that there’s a perfect match out there for each and every one of us. When I say perfect match I don’t mean that there will be no struggles, fights, or difficulties. Love is messy and complicated. However, when you find your person, everything will be so much easier. There will be no second thoughts, no breakups, no what-ifs. It will all click. Thus, by staying away from your ex, you’re one step closer to finding your other half!
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You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
When it comes to dating, getting back with an ex is a cross between the easiest and the hardest decision you could ever be faced with. And it’s totally up to you. Before you make up your mind, however, consider that history tends to repeat itself. Why keep re-reading the last chapter of your life when you can start a new, exciting one?
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Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.
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Photo credit: Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash