Love is a funny thing. We fall hardest for those who hurt us the most, and we often can’t get over them until they stop hurting us. When someone you love hurts you, it can be difficult to get over them. You may find yourself thinking about them long after they’ve gone, or even trying to make up with them again. It’s normal to feel this way when someone has hurt us deeply.
However, if you are still feeling this way weeks later, then there are some steps that you should take in order to move on and heal your heart before getting back into another relationship. In this blog post, we will explore how to heal from someone you love really hurting you, and find closure in order to move on with your life!
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
― Mark Twain
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Identify What You Need To Get Over
The breakup
- I need to learn how to not think about them anymore!
- What are some things I can do in order to move on?
- How come it’s so hard for me to stop thinking of him/her? It feels like my heart will never heal!
When you find yourself stuck after a bad breakup, the first thing you should do is take an honest assessment of what your needs are at this moment. You may have already tried moving on by avoiding these thoughts or feelings that keep bringing you back into their lives, but it hasn’t worked yet.
Take time now to identify what YOUR NEEDS are — write down exactly why you feel broken and vulnerable right now, without trying too hard to fix it. This will allow you to focus on what YOU need in order to heal, instead of how the person who hurt you is feeling or acting.
Learn how to take care of yourself by being gentle with yourself right now — focus on what YOU need in order to heal so that one day soon, your ex won’t have such a hold over your life anymore.
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Ignore Them
Break the habit of calling, texting, or thinking about them. When you find yourself missing them and trying to make up for things, it’s important that you stop calling or texting them right away. These habits only prolong the recovery process — they don’t heal your heart! You should also avoid spending too much time thinking about how wonderful everything was before the breakup happened.
Instead of replaying all those good memories over and over again like a broken record, try focusing on what went wrong in order to move forward with your life. We often spend so much time looking back at our exes through rose-colored glasses instead of accepting their flaws as part of who we love (and let go). This is not healthy and will keep you stuck if this is what you do after every breakup! Try making an effort to let go of the past and focus on your needs right now in order to move forward with a clean slate.
The sooner you stop calling, texting, or thinking about them all day long — the better! By allowing yourself time away from this person who hurt you, you are giving yourself permission to heal without them instead of trying to make up for things that they may not even be aware happened. If it’s been weeks since the breakup occurred but every single waking moment is spent wondering how he/she feels and what could have gone differently between the two of you, then there’s no way that healing can occur when we’re stuck holding onto someone else so tightly like this.
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Hang Out With Friends & Family
Spend time with friends and family to distract yourself from the idea of being alone. When you find yourself missing your ex or feeling that they are always on your mind, try spending more time with family and friends.
This is important for keeping a healthy social life during difficult times like this one — it will help distract you from all those negative thoughts about what went wrong between the two of you instead of allowing these feelings to consume every waking moment until we’re completely destroyed by them. Work extra hard at staying busy throughout each day without focusing too much on how alone you may feel in order to move forward quickly after the breakup occurs.
Spending time with loved ones can also serve as a reminder there’s still happiness out there even after we’ve experienced a breakup. We can learn to feel better about ourselves and move forward by giving our close friends and family members the attention they deserve instead of thinking only about someone else who may not even realize what happened between you both.
Take time right now for yourself in order to heal, knowing that your loved ones will be there if/when you need them most!
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Self Care
Focus on yourself instead of thinking about what they’re doing without you.“I have a hard time getting over them because I feel so vulnerable right now.” What are some ways that this can be addressed? Start small — take time each day just for yourself, and do something nice for yourself!
Taking care of ourselves by giving ourselves our own love helps us release these negative emotions surrounding heartbreak faster than trying not to think about them every second of the day. Start with spending five minutes thinking about your ex before replacing those thoughts with positive self-talk that focuses on loving yourself unconditionally (it may sound corny but trust me, it helps.)
You can also use this time to start doing things that make you feel good, like taking a bubble bath or going out with friends. It might seem difficult at first because all you want is someone to hug and tell you everything will be okay- but if the person who hurt you isn’t there for you now, then chances are they won’t magically appear when your heart starts feeling better either!
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Get out there!
Meet new people or do something different to take your mind off of them. You can also start going out with friends to meet new people and stop thinking about the one who broke your heart. Getting back into a routine will help distract you from what went wrong between you both, especially if this person was the only thing that ever occupied your time before they were gone!
When we’re so busy focusing on someone else’s bad behavior, it’s impossible for our own good feelings to shine through — which means no more love or happiness being shared in any direction. It really is as simple as distracting ourselves from missing them right now by filling up our days with things like meeting new people (whether online or IRL) instead of spending all day long wondering why we weren’t enough for them (or vice versa.)
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Final Thought
These are just a few simple ways to heal after being broken up with, but the most important thing is to remember that you have control over your own thoughts and feelings. If you’re feeling down about this breakup right now — know that it won’t last forever! The only way for healing to take place is to be able to let go of what went wrong between us so we can move forward in our lives again.
I hope these tips helped anyone who’s struggling right now — I wish everyone all the best on their road towards loving themselves again even if they already feel like breaking apart inside! Stay strong & Thanks for reading!
“I know my heart will never be the same
But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay”
― Sara Evans
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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