GMP executive editor James Stafford on what a cruddy guy like him is doing in a nice place like this.
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I am not a good man. Oh, I’m not Jimmy Cagney “you dirty rat” bad, but I’d never peg myself as a good man.
I’ve been a thief, though my crime spree amounts to a penny from a fountain as a kid and a couple of purloined textbooks while I was in college. I’ve gotten into my share of dust-ups, too, both verbal and physical. I’ve been a slouch, a mooch, a cheater, a mistreater, a coward, and an egomaniac. I’ve had enough impure thoughts to keep a team of priests working around the clock through the end of the decade.
Speaking of priests, organized religion and I said our goodbyes a long time ago, though honestly I’ve never given up the search for faith entirely. And speaking of honesty, I’ve told more lies than Faux News. I’ve passed more judgement, too, and there’s another one to toss on the pile.
I’ve been vainglorious, and I’ve been pretentious enough to use the word vainglorious. I’ve stuck bubblegum underneath desks, torn tags from mattresses, and run with scissors.
When The Good Men Project approached me about coming on board I was terrified: What if they find out what a cruddy guy I am? I don’t want to be the black mark on GMP’s reputation. What I didn’t consider was this: We’re all cruddy guys. Not really, of course, but we’ve all made mistakes. Even Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain, a fact I learned from Mick Jagger, a guy who has done his fair share of cruddy things, too.
But The Good Men Project isn’t about being a good man, it’s about becoming a better man. It’s about learning from others, sharing those stories of doubt and pain, evaluating the past and the present in an effort to build a better future. I have a place here, and so do you.
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James, I call it ‘imposter syndrome’ and I can claim my share of feeling like I don’t match up to my desired image of myself. It takes courage to own it ALL.
Most people focus on Good Men and forget that it’s still a Project.
Well said, John!