“I gave you everything, you must treat me well.” This was the rule Lydia set for her husband after marriage.
Before marriage, Lydia was a true career woman. After marriage, she gave up her career for the family. She was afraid her husband might change for various reasons, so she made many demands on him.
There were probably more than ten rules. Initially, this made her husband quite embarrassed. However, to give Lydia a sense of security after marriage, he still agreed to her demands and fulfilled them.
For newlyweds, married life is sweet. So, Lydia and her husband also enjoyed romantic moments together.
Their usual intimacy and interactions quickly warmed up their relationship.
After marriage, Lydia depended more and more on her husband. After giving up her job, she relied on her husband for almost all financial support.
She only needed to stay at home and fulfill the role of a full-time housewife.
Despite being used to earning her own money, Lydia couldn’t shake off her habit of spending big even after marriage.
She felt that since her husband chose to marry her, he had an obligation to be her ATM every month.
Sometimes when she went out with friends, Lydia would spend thousands of dollars. Initially, her husband tried his best to meet Lydia’s demands, but as her expenses grew, he found it more challenging. Seeing useless bags bought by Lydia, her husband couldn’t understand.
Many times they argued over this issue.
During one argument, Lydia said, “You pursued me in the beginning, said you loved me, said you would take care of me. Why can’t you stand it now when it comes to spending a bit of money? If you can’t afford me, why marry me? I gave up my career for you, sacrificed so much for you. Treating me well is what you should do, it’s your duty.”
After hearing Lydia’s words, her husband felt troubled. He thought Lydia changed after marriage. This incident caused a significant change in their relationship.
Initially, the husband handed over his salary card, but later he stopped giving his salary to Lydia. Angered by this, Lydia confronted him.
Facing Lydia’s dissatisfaction, her husband remained indifferent. This led to more arguments between them. In a fit of rage, Lydia smashed the cups on the table. Seeing this, her husband lost his temper and hit Lydia.
He then said to her, “Look at yourself after marriage. Everything you eat and wear is provided by me. Now, why do you have the right to be angry with me? Look at your behavior now, just like a shrew. No one would want you even if you offered yourself. In a few days, let’s get a divorce. It will be better for both of us.”
Hearing her husband’s words, Lydia felt wronged and said, “He was the one who said he would support me, who actively pursued me. Why is everything now my fault?”
Faced with her husband’s indifference and cruelty, Lydia felt helpless. She sat on the ground, holding her head and crying bitterly.
In real life, many women might make the same mistake. After marriage, they place all their happiness on the marriage.
But little do they know, this is the most foolish approach. Marriage should be the beginning of happiness for each of us, not our savior. We should not rely all our happiness on marriage.
As a woman, we must always remember these two things in marriage.
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Avoid Having a Dependency Mentality
As the saying goes, “Marriage is like a walled city. Those outside want to get in, while those inside want to get out.” This is true because only those who have truly experienced the ups and downs of marriage understand its complexities.
Many women, after marriage, feel that since they have married this man, he has an obligation and responsibility to take care of their lives.
From being a career-driven woman before marriage, to completely relying on the other person after marriage, this is the most foolish approach.
When a woman starts depending on a man, it marks the beginning of her nightmare.
Initially, the other person chose to marry you because you had qualities that others didn’t. But if your shine diminishes after marriage, the other person’s interest in you will surely wane.
As a woman, never place all your happiness on a man, as in the end, you will surely be disappointed.
In this world, nobody can be relied on indefinitely.
If you think that getting married means the other person must pamper you, then this thought is completely wrong.
No man will deeply love a woman who has no value.
In real life, only if you have considerable charm can you make a man submit.
If you spend your days at home doing nothing, just being a spending machine, eventually, the man will get tired of you.
Everything in this world, including love, undergoes changes.
If you want the other person to love you deeply, you must also learn to improve. True love is about being equals. You are excellent, and so am I.
Only when you become more outstanding will the other person respect you more. Therefore, as a woman, live out your brilliance. Only then can you make a man truly admire you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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