It is completely normal for partners to have different levels of sexual desire and for sexual desire to decrease or fluctuate during a relationship.
The inquiry is: when do you realize things are deteriorating excessively?
According to sex therapist Jessa, there is no “right” or “healthy” amount of sex that every couple should be having.
That is to say, striving to have “enough” sex does not imply doing so monthly or on any kind of schedule.
The specialist explained that instead, “it’s all about what both partners want and how they work together to create a sex life that works for both parties.”
What’s her “action” for sex? Simply put: Assuming the two partners are cheerful and happy with the relationship, stop focusing on sex.
Even though there’s a lot of guidance on the web about how to have more sex, the specialist says that you shouldn’t continually attempt to build the recurrence of sex. As long as you and your partner are both content with the fact that you’re having less sex or having fewer hot sessions overall, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Is it bad for the relationship to have less frequent sexual activity?
A happy and healthy relationship does not necessarily depend on how frequently you have sex with your partner.
Indeed, even a couple that has a great deal of sex can be poisonous. Francis makes the point that there are real reasons why a couple’s sex has become less common or even nonexistent, either temporarily or indefinitely.
The specialist adds that it is not always a crisis and that sometimes it can be beneficial to a relationship.
She asserts, “If both partners agree not to have sex, then not having sex is not a problem. It can even bring partners closer together because it creates the kind of relationship in which their desires are honored.”
So when is having less sex an issue?
Francis says that being in a relationship and not having sex is only a problem “when partners disagree about how much sex they do or don’t have; This can make sex a source of argument and conflict.”
And that is the exact opposite of what you want: for this area to turn into a wellspring of pressure in the relationship.
If at least one person is dissatisfied with their sexual life, they should have a conversation about how to make the situation better for both of you.
She points out, however, that counting the number of times you have sex or establishing guidelines for how frequently you should do so is not the best way to evaluate the issue. “I think simply discussing recurrence is off-base,” she says. Look instead to how you communicate, how you develop intimacy in other ways, and how satisfied you are with the relationship overall — including sexually.
One of you may want to have more sex, but if you only talk about how often you have it, you miss the part that makes the other person more interested in your intimate moments: pleasure.
All in all, partners should never force more sex on one another, yet rather discuss how to further develop that personal association that goes before sex.
Yes, good communication and consent will help increase your sexual satisfaction.
Make it a point to express whatever you might be thinking on the off chance that you feel that you are not happy with your private minutes right now.
Thus, pay attention to your partner and decide together how you can build a relationship that satisfies you both — together.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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