When I learned that day that she was dating someone else, I just couldn’t digest the fact that I wouldn’t be with her in the future. I started getting the bittersweet feeling of losing someone so close from that moment itself.
When I came home, the first thing I did was open Instagram and screenshot all the pictures that she posted of us together. I knew that these would be deleted soon. I also wanted to keep these for myself to remember the best moments we had.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, whether you got dumped or did the dumping. For me, I had to cook up a believable story so that I could tell my mother, my friends and my colleagues. After all, everyone was so invested in our relationship. I don’t want to show her in a bad light under any circumstances. After all, I still loved her.
My mom had made gold jewellery for her as it is considered auspicious in the Indian tradition. My colleagues even planned a foreign trip for us as a wedding gift because they knew that we would eventually get hitched. My friends also had some plans (I guess I’ll never know now).
You see, I never got the chance to propose to my ex-girlfriend. I was about to, but she informed me that she had fallen in love with someone else. This is the reason why I needed a good reason that would not raise questions from my friends and my colleagues. And I was successful in convincing them of the reason.
. . .
When you plan something in life, the chances are that not everything will be achieved. There will be setbacks, for sure. Yes, you will feel agony and pain, especially if you are emotionally and mentally invested in it. With time, this will pass.
Failures and losses are nothing new to me. In the past, I failed in countless interviews for my dream job. I invested in a promising startup that failed last year, resulting in a loss of money for me and my business partners (who are my friends). My laptop, which had all the important documents and projects, was stolen from the train station, which was not my fault at all. I also lent money to some of my friends for their business ventures without any collateral, and now they are denying any such transactions. And this breakup.
When you make mistakes, you learn from them. Every mistake of mine taught me a valuable lesson. Some take time, while others require a positive coping mechanism to recover. But when you do, you will feel the phoenix rising from the ashes. It also teaches us lifelong lessons that are powerful, empowering and enlightening.
. . .
Relationships are a way of life. Breakups are too. Both of these co-exist together. One thin line here and there can make or break your life. It is like walking on a thin thread, to be honest.
However, as already mentioned, they also teach valuable lessons about life.
- The breakup exposes the insecurities that have been residing inside us.
- Eventually, you realize that resentment is not helpful or productive. You don’t want to let the past live in your head rent-free. That would hamper your current life.
- It lets you explore life outside of your relationship. There is so much more to life. You need to appreciate the people you already have in your life, like your family and your friends.
- There is no point in playing the blame game. Initially, I did that, but then realized how stupid and immature it was.
- It gives you a clean slate. It gives you the freedom to do anything. It gives you the chance to start over.
Breakups are a blessing in disguise. With time, you will realize that it is a beautiful ending to a beautiful journey with a special person you once loved. Healing from sorrow, like any other setback, is a challenging and emotional journey. But, once you do, you will find the right balance in life.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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