Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold
Hey Wendy,
Online dating can wipe me out. Especially when it comes to email. I get tons of messages from guys that I’m just not interested in. Any suggestions on how to not get so drained from the sorting process?
Tania C.
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Hey Tania,
Popularity does have its downsides.
Here’s where to start: Edit your profile. Toward the end of your blurb, say something like, “I look forward to hearing from you! I respond to those who might be a good match.”
You are writing this for you, not for them.
So why do this?
When a guy twenty years outside of your specified age range or 200 miles outside of your desired geographic location writes you an epic e-novel waxing poetic in verse on how you two are destined to be together and you shouldn’t let a silly little thing like age or distance keep you apart, you can hit delete. No response required. You set your limits in the profile. And you are not required or obligated to talk to strangers.
When you get the cruiser who writes those one-word winners we’re all too familiar with like, “suuppp???” or the ubiquitous “hey,” yeah, you can delete him, too.
And for all the guys who write that might fit your criteria but just aren’t a match for you, simply respond with a quick and kind “no thank you.” Try something along the lines of, “Thanks for writing. After reading your profile, I can see we’re not quite a match. Good luck out there!”
Keeping it simple with the ones you’re not interested in and deleting those who are wildly outside of your range will help keep you in the game until you find your love.
Good luck out there!
Wendy Newman is the author of 121 First Dates. She’s a dating, sex, and relationship expert who’s led hundreds of workshops and revolutionized the lives of over 70,000+ women internationally.
If you’re a single woman wondering where you might meet your love IRL once this shitshow of a pandemic is over, grab this free audio gift from Wendy.
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Previously Published on medium
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