Modern women have obscene dating standards, but that doesn’t mean “it’s over” for average guys.
It’s possible to cope — and even thrive — in this modern dating market.
This guide will give you some pointers on how to do so.
Why Women’s Dating Standards Are So High
We can’t prove that all women have high standards. We can only deal in generalities. And there are plenty of studies to back up this hypothesis.
Most prominent studies are based on dating app data.
- The top 78% of women on Tinder/OkCupid are only swiping right on the top 20% of men.
- Some 80% of men are rated as unattractive by women, according to a study of OKCupid profiles.
These studies both suggest that plenty of women are going for men who are ‘out of their league’ on these apps at least. These standards would most likely align with their offline dating expectations too.
There are also studies suggesting that most women will only date men who:
- earn more than them (and sometimes significantly more);
- are least as well-educated as them.
This remains true even though women’s earnings have rocketed over the years, and they now outnumber men in college.
A globalized dating marketplace
The globalized dating marketplace provides the most obvious explanation for women’s rising dating standards.
Before the introduction of social media and dating apps, you would only be competing with the other men in your hometown for a date. If you were better than anyone who had approached your crush in the flesh, you’d have a great chance of dating her.
More men had the courage to approach women back then, but the competition was still less fierce than it is now.
The rise of social media means men can now send your crush a message from anywhere in the world. And you better believe they do.
High-flying jet-setters are hiring assistants to send messages to women in the cities they’ll be visiting. Small-town girls are getting Instagram DMs from entrepreneurs in Dubai. These same girls are also overwhelmed with messages on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and the rest.
There are no consequences to sending thousands of messages on these apps and the men sending them aren’t always looking for a relationship. There are far more men than women on these apps as well. This is why even plain women are overwhelmed with attention.
So, of course most women’s dating standards have risen! Their dating options have exploded.
If you were getting as much attention as the average young woman on Instagram or Tinder, your standards would rise too.
How To Cope With Women’s High Dating Standards
It might seem like you only have two options; meet women’s standards or give up. Perhaps you’d consider lowering your standards and dating someone you’re not attracted to.
But there is an alternative. How about you play a dating game you can actually win?
It is hard to win the ‘good-looking guy’ game, especially if you’re not genetically blessed. It’s difficult (and not fun) to play the money and status game; there will always be richer guys competing for the same women.
That’s why I like to play the personality game. When you lead with fun, charm and charisma, you stimulate a woman’s emotions in such a powerful way.
This is the most effective way to attract women. Plus, for guys who aren’t particularly rich or good-looking, it’s the easiest.
Appeal to a woman’s emotions, not her logic
Good looks, height, muscles and money; these are all things that women logically want.
Luckily, women experience attraction emotionally.
This means men who don’t tick many logical boxes can still get some action. We just have to learn how to tickle a woman’s emotions the right way.
We do this with our charm and charisma. We can not do it with a Tinder account.
When women are swiping on a dating app, there’s just pictures and words on a screen. There’s little to stimulate her emotions so she swipes with a logical mindset. This is why the tall, rich, good-looking guys clean up online.
When you approach her in the real world, it’s a different ball game. Now, you can use your charm and charisma to put her into an emotional headspace. This is what we call ‘seduction.’
We all do things we said we wouldn’t when our emotions are running wild. We cheat on our diets. We buy things we can’t afford. We sleep with people we said we wouldn’t (and faster than we promised ourselves).
We do it because it feels right at that moment. Most of us make decisions based on how we feel, then backwards-rationalize them. This is especially true of romantic decisions. Love and lust are nothing but feelings, after all.
That’s why I recommend learning how to approach women in a smooth and seductive way. This is how you make an emotional impact. It’s how I’ve dated hundreds of beautiful women, despite being short and bald. I’ve witnessed plenty of coaching clients craft an amazing dating life the same way.
Approaching a woman in the real world puts you to the front of the queue for her attention, even if she would have left-swiped your Tinder profile.
Better yet, you’ll stand out because so few guys are daring to do this anymore. Most men are relying on apps.
Indeed, the studs from Tinder and Instagram will still be in her DMs after your approach is over. The goal is to make her more excited about meeting you than a stranger from a dating app. The odds are in your favor if you created an emotional connection in the real world. This means a lot to women, and it’s hard to replicate over text.
If she has a great time on a date and/or sleeps with you, there’s a great chance she’ll prefer to see you over a first date with Chad from Bumble.
That’s not just wishful thinking either. This is how it has worked for me and several of my peers.
This is a game you can win. Women value an emotional connection over most other things, and most men have no idea how to create one. It’s almost impossible if you’re relying on dating apps.
If you learn how to approach women smoothly and take them on an emotional rollercoaster, you can beat the rich good-looking guys.
You won’t attract all the babes in your city, but you can enjoy a pretty damn good dating life.
If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your natural masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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