Many people will cross our path throughout our lives. Some of them will stay by our side, while others won’t. But what determines whether an individual will stay or leave? That is very subjective and, thus, dependent on each person’s values, but there are some general rules that determine when you should let go of certain people. And those are when someone is bad for you.
How to identify toxic people
Sometimes it’s difficult to identify the people in your life that are bad for your health. Our own emotions can make us blind to the other’s unjust behavior and we most of the time rationalize them. However, there are certain patterns that can help you realize who are the toxic people in your life.
Toxic people are self-centered individuals who seek attention and are prone to drama. They care less about your feelings, they lie and manipulate other people’s emotions by presenting themselves as eternal victims. As a result, you are left with a constant emotion that you are not good enough.
These toxic relationships can be either with a partner, a friend, or a family member and in any case, you should run away from them as fast as possible. But sometimes letting go is hard. However, that doesn’t mean that it is not possible. Below we share 5 things you should do to cut ties with the toxic people in your life:
1. Don’t blame yourself
The first thing you should be doing after realizing that you are around a toxic person is to stop blaming yourself about everything. Those kinds of relationships can have disastrous effects on our self-esteem, making us wonder what else we can do to make things better. However, for a relationship to become toxic you need 2 people. You are not solely responsible for the outcome and this is why you should stop blaming yourself. Sometimes the combination of certain personality traits doesn’t work, and you need to be able to accept that so you can move on.
2.Allow yourself to feel sad
The reason that sometimes we don’t want to realize a bad influence on us is because if we accept it we will have to be separated from that person and that would hurt like hell. But it is ok to feel sad, heartbroken or devastated when you lose someone. If you are not then that would mean you never loved them. So don’t be afraid to experience pain. This is necessary for our growth as personalities. Rejoice when you feel happy and embrace your sad moments, because from both situations you learn and grow.
3.Don’t expect any apology
Remember that toxic people only care about themselves and how they will prove themselves right. For this reason, they will never apologize so don’t expect any kind of acknowledgment that they have hurt you. They will always talk about how badly you have hurt them. So be prepared to let go without any closure. Try to find that closure inside of yourself instead. Try to realize what kind of person you are and that you don’t deserve to be treated like that anymore.
4.Cut off contact
It would be best if you stopped contacting that person. It will help you heal and get faster detached from them. A good idea would be to refrain from checking their social media accounts so that you won’t be reminded of that state in your life. It will take some time for you to regain what you lost inside a toxic relationship, but cutting off contact completely will help you get through it in a more healthy and stable way.
5.Reach out to your support
Surely you have people in your life that genuinely care about you and your wellbeing. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them and share with them your struggles. They have your best interests at heart so with their guidance you can get out of this situation easier.
Letting go of toxic people is not an easy task. But at the same time, it’s not something unattainable either. We all have gone through it and we will go through it again in the future. The only thing we can do is hope that, our experiences will give us the appropriate skills to handle this detachment in a healthier way each time.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love and is republished here with permission from the author.
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