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I’ve called myself many things over the years. Mostly things I should see my psychologist about. Nit we can’t always have access to our shrink when we often need them most and this is where reality TV comes into play.
You see, when it comes to forking over money to let someone listen to my problems, I’m all for it. I think it’s a healthy thing to do and I wish more people would go, because like me, I simply have no one else to talk with about my problems.
If you find that sad, I agree, but I’ve been alone so long that I’m used to it by now. You’re not supposed to feel sorry or anything, I’m simply stating a fact.
That’s why,at times, reality TV is the best unlicensed therapist there is.
Is it Monday and you’re feeling particularly down about something? Chances are The Bachelor or Bachelortte is on and you can watch delusional people make out with fourteen people in a night and then send them home crying.
A scene like that is easily worth ninety minutes of feeling better about yourself.
Between occasional viewings of Bachelor (it’s gotten sooooo bad over the years) and my regular fixes of Survivor, Big Brother and now Celebrity Big Brother, my nights are pretty good as far as feeling good about myself.
I’m not lying my @$$ off to fifteen other people in the Big Brother house, trying to get them to believe whatever nonsense you’re running and I’m not rummaging through people’s personal belongings while I look to see if they have an idol on Survivor.
My favorite right now has to be what started last night. Celebrity Big Brother.
How can this not be good for my self-esteem?
This group of people, some, like Kato Kaelin, aren’t even fit to be called “Celebrities.” What did Kato do? Live in OJ’s back house and parlay that into a short-lived radio talk show you had with Cindy Brady as your co-host.
I’m a pretty up to date dude. I listen to music way meant for audiences younger than I. I keep up with the news. I know for the most part who the good guys are and who’s on the naughty list.
That being said there are three that I straight up never heard of. Tamar Braxton? Yeah, she’s Toni’s sister, but hey, I have a brother who played major college football. Can I get on next year?
Jonathan Bennet was in Mean Girls (having a daughter now twenty-one, I can remember watching that movie a lot. I have no clue who he is. Apparently, he’s some cupcake judge expert now.
I’ve heard of swimming phenom and liar to the Brazilian government and people, but who the heck is Kandii Burress? She’s famous for living in Atlanta and having some cash? I guess.
Rounding out the cast is Joey “Whoa” Lawrence, Summer and Winter Olympic athlete Lolo Jones, Natalie Eva Marie of WWE fame (and purple hair which goes nicely with my purple goatee.
We have the above mentioned Kato, who’s first words inside the Big Brother house were, “”Of course O.J. did it.” He’s followed by marijuana-loving Ricky Williams, who let an NFL career disappear over weed. He also mentioned he smoked the night before he entered the house. It is California, after all.
Dina Lohan is here, one half of the pair that helped Lindsey turn out as well adjusted as she did. Probably my favorite in the house will be Anthony Scaramucci, A.K.A. The Mooch, A.K.A. Trump’s White House Communication Director for six days.
This guy walked in wearing thousand dollar suit and I would not be surprised to find out that all he packed are suits and that he wouldn’t be able to relax and have a good time.
Tom Green should be good for a few laughs. As long as he stops making one ball jokes, which he did many times last night. FYI, he had cancer and now has only one remaining testicle.
Join me the day after each Celebrity Big Brother right here to get a recap on the previous night, thoughts on what’s coming up and plenty of talking about celebrities when they forget they’re always being watched.
Starts tomorrow with the recap of the Two Night Premier.
Click Here to follow the recaps.
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