Franklin’s book teaches leadership lessons that every parent should teach their kids…and learn for themselves.
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The Good Men Project recently sat down with Eric Franklin, author of Peanut Butter Principles: 47 Leadership Lessons Every Parents Should Teach Their Kids. Published at the end of 2013, Peanut Butter Principles is an accessible and eminently readable book that contains terrific nuggets of wisdom for parents and children alike.
The Good Men Project: Why did you write this book?
Franklin: “As a ‘middle aged man,’ I started late in life in terms of having kids. My oldest son is 18, and I have two daughters, ages 8 and 7. One day I woke up and felt the need to write it, because my kids are so young, and, as men, we don’t know how long we are going to be around. I felt the need to pass on some nuggets of wisdom, some instruction for their life, to my children. I wanted to share some of the things my parents and grandparents and people in my community had shared with me.”
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The Good Men Project: Can we circle back and hear a little bit about your background?
Franklin: “This is actually my first book. I have been a serial entrepreneur in the DC Metro area for the better part of 20 years, and I’ve run several companies, in life sciences and medical and education technology and management consulting. I also commit quite a bit of resources to an entrepreneurial accelerator to provide people with opportunity to grow and develop their own businesses in Southern Maryland. In addition, I have been a lecturer, speaking to businesses around country. I give a talk called ‘Getting Past Go’ about what do you do when you have an idea…what’s next. I also work in our local school system with business/finance teachers in high school in a competition called ‘Guppy Tank,’ to teach kids how to formulate business idea and work with business owners and students to mentor/judge the kids ideas. My leadership advice draws on my experience as a dad and son, but also from my business background.”
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The Good Men Project: Why leadership principles?
Franklin: “I grew up in a middle class environment where there were a wide variety of people and professions—doctors, lawyers, but also custodians—and I wanted to understand what the common factor was for how to be successful. I thought the most successful people would be those that grew up in affluent families. But that wasn’t the case. The common denominator was not necessarily their economic background but an environment where they taught ‘principles’ rather than ‘rules.’
I realized that I wanted to be raised by someone who was less structured than my parents were. But as I saw my friends growing up in those less structured families, they were a mess. So I started to think about that. When I left the house, and went off to college, I saw the benefit of that kind of structured environment.”
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The Good Men Project: What do you mean by structured? How does that tie in to the concept of “principles”?
Franklin: “By structured, I mean, we had a yard to roam around in but that yard had a fence, so to speak. That was where the principles came from: Here is a principle to life. Remember that principle. Apply it to your life. And those are the principles you find in this book. Half are principles I was raised under. The other half I came up with or heard and applied them to my life, and I found they really benefited me. I wanted a way to put it down on paper, in a way that it would benefit my kids.”
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The Good Men Project: Could you explain the title—why Peanut Butter?
Franklin: “Peanut Butter Principles,” the title, makes sense because peanut butter is something that sticks to the roof of your mouth and stays with you. It’s satisfying and satiating. As a child it was the first thing my Mom taught me to ‘cook’ on my own; she taught me to be very independent. We always had to try new things and eat everything, but she always allowed to make my own PB&J sandwich if I tried a new thing. Sticking with you—these principles are things I wanted to get across to people, sayings that you keep with you.
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The Good Men Project: Can you tell us a bit about the writing process?
Franklin: “I started out with 35 Principles. As I was writing it, I came up with 12 more, just through process of writing. I knew the first one: “Life is not fair. Get over it.” That was the first thing my Father taught me. And then, in looking back at my own life, I looked at the struggles I had in accomplishing things. The biggest obstacle was number 47: “Finish.” I filled in the rest in between. When I got to “Finish,” part of the lesson is to finish when its done; make sure its finished and you’ve completed it. Then stop. So I did.
My principles are sayings that people may know but may not have heard in this particular way. These stuck with me, because I learned the underlying principles, in a way I could remember them. I named them—the chapter titles—in a way people both young and old could adhere to. When I went away to college, I would hear these things— “success is a verb“—which my father told me. I knew what it meant and it stuck with me.
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The Good Men Project: I get that. My own Mom’s were “life is not fair” and “help yourself.” Those stuck. Seems like quite a few of yours came from your Dad. What are some of your favorites?
Franklin: “When I look back to the ones my Dad imparted to me, it’s “life is not fair” but also “character is the principal ingredient” (#3). I was raised with the understanding that there are benefits my family has based on actions that my great-great-grandfather took, kindnesses that were shown to the entire family, based on some simple things he did.
This whole book really is about character. My father instilled these principles in me. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be true to your word. I have seen him live and continue to live these principles. He is very family-oriented and very staunch about treating people the way you want to be treated and living up to your word.”
Another is “success is a verb” (#9). My Dad was very professionally successful, educationally and socially too. He was always pushing towards the next thing. I saw that you can’t rest on your laurels and rest on success, because it’s a verb. It’s continuous action. You can’t ever stop. It’s always about what is next. Always have a next project. My deceased Father-in-Law also lived this way. Way into his later age, he would always talk about what’s next. That keeps you motivated and enthusiastic, and it keeps you going and keeps you young.
But to achieve something, you need a deadline. “The difference between a goal and a dream is a deadline.” (#10). Most people have goals and aspirations but no way to get to them. Simple thing you can do is put a deadline to yourself. My Dad would push me on that—what’s your plan? when are you going to get there? And that’s carried over to how I live my life.
I still hear my Dad in the back of my head saying things like “If what you drive to the bank cost more than what you have in the bank, you’re poor.“
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The Good Men Project: From my reading, though the book is focused on kids, the lessons really apply to everyone, kids and adults. Do you agree?
Franklin: “I do. I didn’t necessarily intend it to be beyond kids – but they are life lessons for parents too. A lot of this came out of my talks to adults in ‘Getting Past Go.‘ Though the need came out of a need I saw for young people, the principles do apply to all people. Being that these are things I hope people will take throughout their lives, you start out young and have them live their life by these principles, they will grow into adulthood and take these with them. Its harder to teach, the older you get.”
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The Good Men Project: How has the book been received?
Franklin: “When I told my friends about it, there was so much—a firestorm of enthusiasm about the book—and I’m so pleased that it’s really continued in the general public.”
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The Good Men Project: What about the reception by your own kids?
Franklin: “My own kids know everything about the book. They all know the principles. They participated and when they hear their friends going in a different direction, they bring up principles out of the book. I’ve even had parents of their friends and their teachers request copies of the book! They go to book fairs with me and pass out bookmarks. They are just great gregarious kids.
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Good men aren’t born. They’re nurtured and become leaders.
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Photo Credit: Eric Franklin
Written in partnership with Peanut Butter Principles