As fathers, we don’t have a lot to go off. For the most part, many of us have grown up just to think that as long as we are around, then we are doing what we need to do as fathers.
We have seen so many instances of fathers not being around for their children and creating broken homes for their families, that simply being around is seen as enough when it comes to fatherhood.
This shouldn’t be the case. I didn’t really think about it until I became a father and saw how I was received, and I realized that attitudes when it comes to mothers and fathers differ a lot.
When it comes to mothers, they are expected to be there for their children. They are expected to keep everything together when it comes to childcare as well as in the house. The applause for mothers is given but it’s not anywhere as loud as it should be, because what they do is seen as the norm.
Meanwhile, as a father I could do something as simple as carrying my child in the baby carrier or walking with him in the stroller in public and I’d get positive looks and comments saying how nice it is that I’m doing these things.
How is it that I can be getting applause for doing the things that I should be doing with my kid? People won’t have any idea of how I am with my kid other than the surface-level things they see and they’ll instantly label me as a ‘good father’.
It brings me back to the main point, the bar for fathers is much lower than it should be. Because so little is demanded of us other than simply being around, so many of us end up not actually stepping up action-wise in ways that we should as fathers.
The expectations of fathers are nowhere near as harsh as they are for mothers. That is a problem.
As a society, we need to encourage more of our fathers to step up. It’s not just about being there anymore; it’s important that we be present and active in contributing as men to our households.
We can’t live with mindsets where it’s ok for us fathers to do the bare minimum when our partners are there keeping things together while not getting anywhere near the plaudits they should be getting.
It’s time to raise the bar for fatherhood. And it starts with us today.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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