Looking for Love
At Valentine’s Day, a recently divorced reader writes a newspaper advertisement for romance.
SWM N/S Seeks Female – by Don Mathis
I want a classified
for a single’s ad;
one that’s sure to win.
My love life has died
but I’m not petrified.
I’m ready to try again.
If you start at the top,
you’ll find quite a lot:
Five foot thirteen in height.
My hair is silver, not grey.
I turned 40-something in May.
My eyes are brown and bright.
My ancestral line
has a touch of German
and lots of Scots and Irish.
I’ve got a soul patch
and a trimmed mustache
that may be somewhat ticklish.
My soft voice is deep.
I have no promises to keep,
but I’ll be glad to make some with you.
I’ve got potential, plus,
I’ve already accomplished much,
and I’m open for anything new.
I’m meek but not weak,
I’ve got an O.K. physique,
I just don’t like to brag.
I work out each day
so I can stay this way,
and parts don’t start to sag.
Have you heard the old saying
about long fingers on men?
It means they’ve got long toes!
That is me to a T;
describes me perfectly.
Ask anyone who knows.
I’m single but not free.
I’ve a son named Charlie
and he’s the love of my life.
But I just get to keep him
the first, third, and fifth weekend,
according to my ex-wife.
So that leaves a lot of time
to sit around and rhyme
a description of my essence
In hopes that someone
will see how much fun
I’m having, and seek my presence.
XXX
Previously published in
T.G.I.F.! The Weekend Bandit (weekly newspaper)
Street Talk (monthly magazine)
Voices Along the River (San Antonio Poetry Fair anthology 1997)
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