
I Feel Like I Lost Myself
A friend poured his heart and soul into loving someone. He gave up his friends, hobbies, and dreams to focus on his partner. But in the end, his partner broke up with him.
There was no other person involved. His partner said he didn’t have enough of a sense of self and that he didn’t like that kind of relationship.
Right after the breakup, he was devastated. He felt like he was so devoted to his partner, putting him first in everything, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness, that his partner shouldn’t have hurt him like this.
But after some time, when he calmed down, he began to think about their time together. He realized that he had slowly lost himself. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore.
That’s when he started to understand why his partner left.
When you love someone, whether you’re a guy or a girl, it’s easy to make a mistake. You forget about yourself. You think you have to give everything to the other person. But before you give, you need to love yourself.
Be Yourself, Embrace the Real You
When you fall for someone, you often lose confidence.
You worry that you’re not good enough for them. You worry about how you look and if they’ll be attracted to you. You worry about your personality and if they’ll like it.
You start to do things their way to please them. You forget your own ideas and beliefs.
Sometimes, when they criticize you, you don’t question them. You think it’s your fault and that you need to listen to them and change.
It’s okay to make some changes for love, especially if they make your relationship better. It’s worth it.
But that doesn’t mean you should follow their rules all the time. Even if they try to control you or brainwash you, you should stand up for yourself.
Remember, you’re your own person first. Then you’re someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re a unique individual. You don’t have to change who you are for anyone.
Accept your flaws. Be brave enough to be yourself. Live your life the way you want to. This will make you unique and interesting. You won’t let others control you.
Stay Independent, Have Your Own Life
When you’re in love, you want to spend every minute with your partner. You want to understand their interests. You want to enjoy the same things. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But while you’re trying to fit into their life, don’t forget that you have your own things you want to do. You have your own friends and community. You have places you want to go.
Being clingy is good in a relationship. It shows how much you care. But too much clinginess can make someone feel suffocated.
The best thing to do is spend some time with your partner, doing things together.
Then give yourself some time to be alone. Dive into your own world. Take care of yourself.
When you’re in a relationship, you shouldn’t put your partner first and completely give up your life. That’s not a good idea. It won’t make your partner like you more. In fact, they might think you’re less attractive.
Even when you love someone, you need your own space. That space helps you both become better people. It also lets you surprise each other and keep things fresh.
Plus, when you have your own life, you’ll be okay if you break up with your partner. You won’t feel like you lost everything. You’ll still have the strength to move on.
Stand By Your Values and Principles, Don’t Lose Yourself in Love
If you love someone, you should be more understanding, accommodating, and forgiving.
When you argue, don’t get too caught up in the details. Just give in. When there’s a problem, don’t wait for your partner to apologize. Take the first step. When you disagree, don’t try to win. Think about how your partner feels.
Give more, take less. It’s okay to lose. But that doesn’t mean you have to do whatever your partner wants. You have to have your own standards.
No matter how much you love someone, don’t do things you shouldn’t.
Don’t borrow money for your partner and end up in debt. Don’t do something that could hurt you because they encouraged you. Don’t try things you shouldn’t just to prove your love.
Don’t even try to sacrifice your life to show your partner how much you love them.
Even if you’re in love, don’t go crazy. Don’t lose your mind. Always follow your conscience and your principles. Do some things, but don’t do others.
Trying to prove your love in an extreme way won’t prove anything. It will just make your situation worse. You could even ruin your life.
I agree with this saying: Love yourself first.
If you don’t know how to love yourself, you probably won’t know how to date.
But loving yourself doesn’t mean being selfish. It means thinking about yourself. It means knowing who you are and becoming a better person.
Have your own personality, your own traits, and your own interests.
Even if you’re ordinary, you have your own unique character. You’re different from everyone else.
Love isn’t about giving up everything. It’s not about always listening to your partner. It’s about becoming a better person, being a better partner, and having a high-quality relationship.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Darius Bashar on Unsplash
