Question: Hey Allana. My question is a little off topic but wanted your advice. Overheard a coworker mentioning to someone else that she was pregnant but didn’t want to tell anyone because she was up for a promotion. While I understand where she is coming from, I still think it is messed up because she will screw over the entire team when she wants to take maternity leave. Should I say something to someone?
Answer: Great to hear from you, and the core of what we’re talking about here is not off topic so thank you for asking 😉 Conscious relationships be they personal or professional operate on the same core foundations. Love. Truth. Good for All. Courageous Humility. Trust in the Divine. Yes?
I have compassion for the pregnant women, who if she’s white earns 70% of what a man does… add a baby to the picture and I get why she’d want to keep it a secret.
And I have compassion for you, not wanting your team to be compromised by her absence for 3 months, yes? You want to reach your goals, you work hard, you don’t want a foreseen or unforeseen circumstance to take you off your mark, yes?
Here’s where you might find some relief… notice your point of view is on the .01% of the issue of what you see… yet quantum physics teaches us that 99.9% of possibilities is in the unseen.. so you’re concluding that because she’s pregnant and taking mat leave that something awful will happen… what if it’s actually a blessing?
What if you get to shine? Or a coworker? Or something miraculous occurs where you rock your game while also appreciating her when she returns… what if everyone evolves and the community thrives? What if you trusted you were held, supported, safe and secure no matter WHAT your circumstances, and followed the energy of what’s expansive to guide you, rather than your fears and potentially throwing a coworker under the bus?
What if she could still contribute from home? What if she gets a promotion but so do you? There are so many ‘what if’s!” yes?
When we come from fear, contraction, scarcity… our life goes to pot… yet if we can courageously come from expansion, love, abundance, possibility, courage and What if… then nothing short of miracles can unfold. This isn’t woo woo my friend, it’s science. It takes a knowing in your gut, not a thought in your mind. It takes conscious evolution. And I absolutely know you can do it.
And the road to ease, flow, abundance, trust and deep security within didn’t come easy to me, and might not come easy to you, so to help on that journey, go to my site for men, www.GetHerToSayYes.com for my complementary report on how to be a Noble Badass. If you’re a lady reading this, please enjoy my complementary training at www.AllanaPratt.com called Vulnerability is the New Sexy. And if you’d like someone to walk you through this fire to freedom on the other side, apply for a complementary strategy session with me at www.AllanaPratt.com/connect.
Challenge when embraced makes us stronger, better than before, more alive, humbled, courageous and expressed. Lean in my friend. xoxo Allana
Photo: Flickr.com Radha Madhava
Hi letter-writer.
I think you should not say something, for one pretty simple reason:
Unless something really unfortunate happens, the issue will bring itself up in due time. Her choise about when and how to bring it up to the employer, and any possible consequnces, will be her responsibility,
Saying something will make the issue about you instead of her.
Ask instead yourself what you can do to improve the chances for success in your team from your current position.
Here’s where you might find some relief… notice your point of view is on the .01% of the issue of what you see… yet quantum physics teaches us that 99.9% of possibilities is in the unseen.. so you’re concluding that because she’s pregnant and taking mat leave that something awful will happen… what if it’s actually a blessing? I’m curious as to how you conclude that the letter writer’s point view is on the “.01%” of the issue of what he sees. It sounds like you are saying he is only focusing on a tiny portion of the situation when… Read more »
Why would you try to circumvent a co-workers promotion just because she was pregnant? Did she not earn that promotion? This person should seriously ask themselves what their true motivations are here. And hopefully they will chose to let it be and do what all of us who work in a professional setting do. Which is simply “problem solve” through circumstances. That is what being part of a work community is about. It is not whining about some else’s promotion and their leave time just because it means different circumstances. I am sure if a serious issue comes up, this… Read more »
The woman got the promotion for a reason. If she springs her surprise pregnancy on management then she should not be surprised if management gives her position (maybe temporarily, maybe permanently) to a stand-in while she’s on mat leave. Where I work we have had several women leave on mat leave, they eventually make their way back to near fulltime work, the company hasn’t suffered for it. It takes a lot of work to train new employees so we don’t want anyone to leave because they are pregnant then that investment is gone. Interestingly though paternity leave is still frowned… Read more »
It seems that maternity leave is also frowned upon and very much puts women at a distinct disadvantage if they are at risk for not receiving promotions they worked for.
Alana, White women do not earn 70% of their male colleagues salary in the professional class, in fact in my field many make more than I do. Don’t quote population statistics, they are irrelevant for most situations.
Yep. I was going to comment on behalf of the woman, but that turned me right off to it. it amazes me that felonious statistic still hangs around, especially when we know that women exiting college today are out earning men by 1.07 to the dollar, at minimum and men’s salaries, overall, are worse then they were 40 years ago.
We are going down like a plane with no wings while they are going up, and apparently people are watching a different game.
Your field is not the standard experience for most women in work settings. Although I am curious what field you work in. Wage gaps also grow bigger for women of minorities and women over the age of 35. A woman is more likely to be discriminated against based on age in the work force. Women are more likely to be in poverty too and men hold the vast majority of the world’s wealth.
Cite the research that demonstrates that please, because everything out there of any legitimacy argues otherwise. “Men” do not hold the wealth and that is part of the bigotry we face every day, why our issues are not seen, let alone spoken of, and why we still pontificate about so much conjecture that is simply untrue. There are men of means, a very small group, that hold most of the wealth. The rest of us are not on that payroll, but we let such statements fly, such sexism pervade, such grouping to go on. It is why the conversation is… Read more »