Love can be painful, and scary. After getting hurt so many times, it’s hard to go back to it as eagerly. But Samantha Leebos stays hopeful, and provides us with a list of reasons to welcome love back.
Relationships are scary.
We all wish we had that fantasy relationship, but once you’re dating someone, you realize that being in a relationship is hard. You have to learn how to take care of someone else when, for the longest time, you’ve been so used to taking care of only yourself.
So there you are, stuck in a relationship you enjoyed being in a year ago. You know it’s over. Where has the time gone? Oh yeah, it’s gone towards fighting, bickering, making up, fighting, not getting along and then a heartbreak. After this, you promise not to be with anyone else ever again.
Never again will you open up to someone. Never again will you give your body to someone. Never again will you make the effort to see someone. Never again will you love someone. That’s what you think, until you meet someone who makes you happy.
When you meet someone after a heartbreak, you promise yourself you’re going to act differently toward him. You think, “I’m doing this one differently. I won’t open up or move as fast as the last one.” But for what? The best part about being with someone is being able to be yourself.
Here are seven reasons why you should never hold yourself back from your next special someone:
He or she misses out on you
You are an awesome person, whether some people like to think so or not. You’re funny and exciting. You like to lounge on the couch and watch TV all day. You also like to get dolled up and go out with friends and have a good time.
Don’t let your next significant other miss out on opportunities to be with the real you. Be yourself, and if people like you, you’ll know they like you for you.
You will miss out on real love
When you hold yourself back, you’re giving up on love. Being scared to open up to someone new is normal. We’re born reserved; we don’t go up to people and tell them our life story, and we most definitely don’t tell our significant others every piece of our lives during the first month of a relationship.
There is nothing wrong with taking things slowly; just be sure you’re both on the same page and ready to move forward together.
You will never get to know him or her
People aren’t stupid. If you aren’t into them, they can feel it. If you have a wall up, they will eventually put a wall up, too. Take the risk; open up to the other person so you give him or her a chance to open up to you.
There is nothing more important than being with someone who is willing to grow with you each day.
When you’re ready, it will be too late
“It’s too late” — those are some harsh words. There are many things you can blame the other person if the relationship doesn’t work out, but if you’re constantly going backwards or stuck in the same spot, he or she will get bored and move on. Everyone deserves to be with someone who is willing to make him or her happy.
You’ll eventually be unhappy
Keeping your true self away from someone you care about can take a toll on you in the long run. You’ll get used to being so reserved and confined that it will be the only way you know.
You don’t want to end up being scared to open up to your significant other when you finally realize you are ready to be yourself. Don’t let your last relationship ruin the possibility of being happy with someone else.
You won’t experience the real definition of adventure
You want to be with someone who is spontaneous? Think outside of the box. You want to experience new places? Step out of your comfort zone. You don’t want to feel alone anymore? Let someone in.
Yes, that may sound easier said than done, but take a chance on someone new. If he or she is willing to give you his or her all, you should do the same; when you do, you’ll see what happens.
You won’t learn anything new about yourself
Being in relationships only teaches you more about who you are. It shows you what you like, love, dislike, hate and don’t care for. Take what you learned in your last relationship and put it in your new relationship.
If it’s something positive, great. If it’s negative, that’s great, too. Either way, you’ll know exactly how to steer away from that negative and turn it in to a positive.
Keep in mind that it might not work out with everyone you go steady with. That doesn’t mean you should give up on finding your soul mate.
Forget about the past; it’s behind you for a reason. If it didn’t work out with someone, there’s someone else waiting to make you happy. Just remember that you don’t want to gyp the next person out of getting the full experience of your beautiful personality.
About the author
Samantha Lebbos is a journalist who writes so she doesn’t go crazy. Having studied broadcast journalism at Bradley University, she works as an on-air traffic producer in Chicago. She’s also a correspondent covering events and interviewing today’s top entertainment artists/athletes. Residing where the wind blows (hard) and people sweat when it’s 40 degrees, Samantha enjoys short walks to her fridge, working and attending music shows. On weekends, she spends time laughing with her girls in a corner table at a bar where they converse at the many problems of today’s society. Samantha likes to travel and learn about different cultures to invigorate her life. She writes about women, relationships, humor and motivation to ease her mind. Follow her on Twitter for some fun @SamanthaLebbos.
This article originally appeared on Elite Daily.
Photo credit: Gabriel Saldana/flickr