When my child was 2.5 years old, the high drama started. She was a strong-willed baby-turned-toddler and it had been quietly building up for a while.
But one day, when she was in the thick of a tantrum, I had this sudden realization:
“Oh my god, THIS is the terrible two’s!”
I had always heard of the phase, but never gave it much thought once I had my first child. But right then and there, it was glaring me in my face every single day.
Every moment since has been a master class in negotiation.
Everything was a meltdown. The littlest, insignificant thing turned into tears and screaming. We are still navigating through it, like all parents. Every child is different and not every tantrum is the same. Sometimes I can solve the issue quickly, while other times it takes a while.
I’ve learned how to avoid some tantrums and fights, but you can avoid everything. Things that you never thought would be drama, turn quickly into it, especially if my daughter is tired.
I stay at home with my kids and so most of my day is spent with my kids. I’ve learned that negotiation and conflict resolution are large parts of my job description.
Am I formally trained in conflict resolution and mediation? No.
Have I turned into a pretty damn good negotiator? Hell, yeah, and it’s all from on-the-job, hands-on training.
I always say that if I was applying for a job in negotiation, this is how the interview would go:
Interviewer: I see that you are interested in this position in negotiation, but I see from your resume that you don’t have any experience or certificates in that field.
Me: No, but I have a 3-year-old at home…
Interviewer: Enough said. You’re hired!
Life with a toddler is better than any negotiation course on the market. The other party is always stubborn. They don’t understand the concept of a win-win situation. It’s all want-want-want.
The stakes are real and it has made me a negotiation pro.
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This story was inspired by a comment thread with Christina on her article (check out the link below). We discussed how many skills you develop as a parent can later be applied to your career, although recruiters don’t always seem to recognize that fact.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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