It all started with an innocent Tweet from a qualified doctor suggesting that pastors should seek regular therapy as part of a balanced approach to self-care.
Next minute…
Right-wing conservative Christians were peppering his profile with sarcasm, abuse, and incoherent rantings about how the sufficiency of Scripture trumps “worldly and satanic psychotherapy.”
Yes, therapy is from the devil!
And any pastor who gets therapy is unqualified to set foot in the pulpit, and he should sit down and shut up, according to the angry responses to Dr. Kevin M. Young’s Tweet.
When I read that, I think to myself, “That’s some good advice.” Leading a congregation is emotionally and spiritually demanding. You have to pour out a lot of yourself as you care for your people, often without anyone backfilling your empty emotional tank. You have to carry the weight of other people’s burdens as they share their deepest struggles with you.
I reckon therapy for pastors is a great idea! In fact, given that a recent survey revealed that the mental health of pastors is worse than the general population overall, with more than one-quarter of pastors struggling with mental health issues, I would tend to think that therapy is an excellent idea for pastors.
Not so, according to many who responded to Dr. Young’s Tweet. In fact, plenty of people got angry and came out swinging. Like, Pastor Nathaniel Jolly.
Then there was this guy who insinuated that a person with mental health issues could not possibly be “right with the Lord.”
And this Tweet that calls therapists “Satan’s wolves.”
You could be forgiven for believing that going to a mental health professional for support was a cardinal sin for these Christians. For them, the pastor is supposed to have it all together. He is supposed to be a picture of positivity, resolve, and togetherness. After all, if the church leader is not living the “victorious Christian life,” what kind of example is he setting? We can’t have miserable pastors, or people might question the claims we make about the all-sufficiency of Christ.
Therefore, many pastors put on the appearance of having it all together while inwardly falling apart. Not only do more than 25% of pastors struggle with their mental health, but according to a recent survey by Barna, 38% of pastors are thinking about quitting this year.
Is there grace for these pastors? Is there space for them to walk through their valley of the shadow of death?
No.
Not while there are Christians who continue to stigmatize mental health issues and the seeking of professional help.
Why I will only follow a pastor who has therapy
Let me give you fourteen really good reasons why I would rather follow a pastor who has therapy over one who does not.
- A pastor who gets therapy is prepared to admit his weaknesses, failures, and struggles to someone. That, to me, speaks of the humility that is the antidote to the alpha male syndrome that plagues our pulpits.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands the limitations of his own knowledge, skills, and abilities and recognizes that there are certain things he is ill-equipped to deal with and must outsource to others who are more qualified.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands that he cannot care for others well unless he cares for himself well.
- A pastor who gets therapy is happy to be held accountable to someone.
- A pastor who has had mental health issues and sought treatment is qualified to lead and pastor others within his congregation who also have mental health issues. You cannot lead people where you have never been yourself.
- A pastor who gets therapy can empathize with those who have also had therapy.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands the profound spiritual mystery that the very things we struggle with can end up becoming our gift to the world if we process them well. Our mess becomes our message, but we seldom are able to make sense of our mess without an outside opinion.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands that Christianity is a communal religion wherein we carry each other’s burdens. No person is supposed to walk alone.
- A pastor who gets therapy sets an example to his congregation by saying, “It is okay not to be okay,” rather than espousing the kind of toxic positivity that announces to the world, “I am fine!” even when you are not.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands that while the Bible and prayer are useful for ministry, God is able to use other means to lead people to healing and wholeness.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands that mental health struggles are not the devil and his angels attacking gullible and stupid Christians. People who are depressed aren’t depressed because they don’t have enough faith, are listening to the lies of Satan, or don’t understand the truth of the gospel.
- A pastor who gets therapy understands that suffering, pain, heartache, struggle, and sadness are part of life, and talking to someone about it is helpful sometimes.
- A pastor who gets therapy has a demonstrably sober judgment of their own abilities.
- A pastor who gets therapy demonstrates their own wisdom by seeking the wisdom of others.
This list started at five points, but it kept on growing and growing. The more I think about it, the more I think it would be an excellent idea for all pastors to connect regularly with a professional listener, like a therapist or counselor.
I can’t believe there are Christians who are offended by the suggestion. After all, the Bible is a hall of fame for depressed, anxious, and mentally ill people.
The Biblical list of “unqualified” leaders
If we are going to disqualify Christian leaders who suffered from mental health ailments, we should start with the Bible.
Take a look at the books of poetry — Psalms, Lamentations, and Ecclesiastes — and you will notice that so much of it are words of sadness, grief, fear, and even self-loathing:
Who was the likely author of these uplifting words? Most scholars believe it was King David — a man after God’s own heart — supposedly. So, put a line through David’s name if you’re looking for a strong male leader who has it all together.
How about Jeremiah — known as the weeping prophet? Read through some of his writings, and you’d have to conclude that the man could have been clinically depressed:
Doesn’t sound like the kind of leader I’d like to follow. He seems a bit whiney, if I’m honest. But why stop at Jeremiah?
Even the man who said, “we are more than conquerors through Christ,” was stuck with some kind of “thorn of the flesh” that God refused to relieve him of. Yet, the Apostle Paul managed to boast about his weakness.
And finally, how about Jesus Christ? Yes, the one and only son of God was once so anxious that when he prayed, his sweat had drops of blood in it.
Yes, reading through the account of Jesus’s struggle in the Garden of Gethsemane, you would have to conclude that even the very son of God was not immune from anxiety. And yet, no one would argue that he didn’t trust God, would they?
Far from condemning those who were anxious or depressed, the Bible is full of messed-up people who became Biblical heroes in spite of their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual weaknesses.
I’m sure there are Christians out there who would say, “See! Jesus, David, Jeremiah, and Paul didn’t use a therapist!”
Give me a break.
They didn’t use a motor vehicle either.
Why? Because they didn’t exist. I suppose if they did exist, they might have used one. I dare say Paul’s missionary journeys would have been expedited with the availability of a reliable Combi — the same as Jeremiah would have benefited enormously from a good therapist!
It’s personal
After I presided over my first funeral for a person who had died by suicide, I was grateful to be able to have therapy available to me.
I needed it.
After I picked up a young man from a bus stop who had been beaten black and blue by his own father’s fists, I was grateful to be able to have therapy available to me.
I needed it.
After I delivered groceries to an impoverished single mother whose husband had gone to jail, I was grateful to be able to have therapy available to me.
I needed it.
As I carried the burden of expectation and bore the gossip and the slander of so-called Christians in my congregation, I was grateful to be able to have therapy available to me.
I needed it.
And because I’ve had it, I’m a better leader. Give me therapy any day!”
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This post was previously published on Backyard Church.
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Your article is thoughtful. I agree with your words.