Peacocking males who mansplain need to go.
—
Men who show off their big muscles.
Men with flashy cars.
Men who mansplain.
I see wild peacocks every day in my front yard and have been observing their behavior. The females are docile and very precise in their pecking. They move swiftly. The males screech and call each other with sounds that resonate through the trees in Topanga. The males wear shiny cobalt blue feathers on their necks, while the females are more muted and modest. One male, whom I’ve named King, has a very long plume, about four feet long. He’s the leader and the other males tend to follow and stand behind him. I see some younger males in training to be the next king. They try to emulate his call. When they get too close to him, King fans his plume and wiggles his bottom feathers. The other males raise theirs in response, but quickly lower in embarrassment and recognition of the hierarchy.
Watching these stunning birds is a lot like going out in Hollywood on a Saturday night. I see groups of guys pull up to nightclubs in fancy, shiny cars in the hopes of impressing throngs of women in tight dresses. Slipping the bouncers money to avoid standing in the line, the pack leader heads into the club and his friends follow behind. They dress similarly and wear aloof, flat affects on their faces and none of them look particularly happy to be there. Then, inside the club they wait for their leader to pick “his” girl and then the rest choose theirs to dance with and (hopefully) take home for the night.
These guys prance around with their puffed up chests and a few extra buttons unhooked on their bright, pressed, collared shirts. They have pickup lines memorized and palmistry techniques down so they appear smooth and confident.
They also show up at they gym deadlifting hundreds of pounds and grunting to indicate their power, sometimes while wearing jorts or barely there tank tops to show off their muscles. Sometimes they appear when they’ve won a business deal and then go to the jewelry store and buy a new, flashy watch just because.
The show-off behavior is also known as Peacocking.
Women do it too, but typically the term is used to describe male show-offs. They seek attention, most often from members of the opposite gender whom they find attractive. I’ve seen it work to attract short-term attention where women typically roll their eyes and don’t fall for this behavior.
Or maybe it’s me.
Peacocking behavior is a big turn-off for me, something I see through and wonder why a guy is being so foolish. It shows me a superficial, immature side of a man from whom I want to run far, far away. It shows me narcissism and a lack of humbleness, two qualities that don’t fit with where I am now.
Many peacocking men also have a tendency to mansplain. Mansplaining is a portmanteau of the words man and explaining, defined as “to explain something to someone, typically a man to woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.”
So here we have show off mansplainers who are also dressed to impress like peacocks. Great. Just who most women want to meet.
Now I’m getting to the part of the blog that sounds hopeless. But wait, I learned that not all men are mansplaining peacocks. You can find the good guys in earnest, humble locations. And the good news is that peacocking men are pretty easy to spot. They don’t want to blend in with camouflage so they stick out!
Women, keep your bright eyes open and you’ll be able to avoid them easily.
◊♦◊
Photo: JD Hancock/Flickr
Nina Rubin writes every week on The Good Men Project!
This article first appeared on her blog, afterdefeat.
“Men who show off their big muscles.”… “barely there tank tops”… “extra buttons unhooked on their bright pressed collared shirts” What’s wrong with men displaying a physical component of their masculinity? Don’t men get to exhibit their bodies even a little? Women exhibit their bodies a lot. Let me just say the word “bikinis”. That should be enough to make my point. They almost leave a woman artfully naked. And most women own one. But it’s everyday stuff too: figure-hugging tank tops, tight jeans, button-up shirts that are always unbuttoned near the top (or don’t even have buttons that go… Read more »
Women are peacocks. What about makeup–essentially painting your face, shoes with stilts (high heels), frilly clothes, 80% showing bare legs, chest-featuring and shoulder-showing blouses (even without cleavage!) shiny or big jewelry, bright colors and designs on your clothes, an ass exhibited in thin clingy fabric, big hair, long colorful nails… Women present themselves as peacocks much more than men, as far as appearance goes. As for those desperate gym guys and obnoxious guys at the clubs, I agree with you. (Though making some spontaneous noise while working out I think should become more embraced by society). Sex life is very… Read more »
Are you not as aggrieved by women who exhibit the same type of behavior? Let’s not pretend that women don’t have their own variations on the theme; those girls aren’t showing up at the club in minidresses for their own benefit. “To see and be seen”, as they say. A woman who dates under the assumption that good guys don’t go clubbing and that selfish assholes never volunteer for Habitat for Humanity is not only setting herself up for some disappointing revelations down the line; she will also overlook some great male friends and potential partners, simply because weren’t where… Read more »
it IS you, Nina. You have this thing called depth, and it is a rare commodity these days. I’ve seen these boys, and I’ve talked to them, by the hundreds, on various men’s and dating boards. I can’t count how many times I’ve tried to get across to them how obviously short term and unmanly the behavior is, what an eye-roller their lines are, how women of worth see right through it, how those new Pierre-Pierre slacks and slick watch are like dropping chum into a shark pool, and what they are going to attract. Some get it, others never… Read more »
Hollywood? Was that part of a metaphor, or did you actually mean Hollywood? Because if that’s the case, then this is a bit like going to Las Vegas, and deducing that too many people in the world have a gambling addiction.
I’m trying to figure out what you’re trying to say here…. You obviously don’t like men who act or dress in a way that you personally find unattractive but…….why would we care? Why would any person give a rats ass what you think, or listen to you regarding your personal preferences? I mean, this article is on par with someone writing an article called “Why i would never date a black guy” yet seem completely bereft on the notion that people are inherently different yet seem to create your very own version of discrimination based on something as pedestrian and… Read more »