By I’m From Driftwood
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Two years after his top surgery, Terrence François was still a little self-conscious about taking his shirt off in public. On a quiet beach in Cartegena, Colombia, however, he finally mustered up the courage to do that very thing. Before long, a fellow tourist approached Terrence and explained that she wanted to introduce him to her partner – a fellow trans man. After a brief but powerful video chat, Terrence learned not only the importance of visibility and representation, but also the importance of embracing our marks in all their forms.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
0:00
[Music]
0:00
foreign
0:06
Francois I’m from Brooklyn New York also
0:08
known as indigenous land of Lenape
0:10
people so it’s a 2021
0:14
um we’re like a year into the pandemic
0:16
the year prior I had met my roommate
0:19
who’s 20 21 birthday trip this is she
0:22
had wanted to go to Cartagena Colombia
0:24
with a homie but she got she felt sick
0:26
to covet unfortunately so 2021 was
0:30
opportunity for her to redo her birthday
0:31
trip I had gotten my gender Furman
0:33
surgery my top surgery in 2019. at this
0:36
point it’s only two years since my
0:37
surgery so I’m
0:39
High key nervous and I’m high key
0:41
anxious and I was still in the process
0:44
of even though I got in my surgery
0:46
complete still feel into my body in
0:49
these new ways so it was like holy
0:51
I want to be on these streets with my
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shirt off
0:54
um
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will people comment I’m like nervous as
0:57
but I want to do it it’s like a
0:59
week-long stay in Cartagena
1:01
um and we do a lot of beautiful things
1:02
but um in this particular day we decided
1:05
to do some exploration around and learn
1:07
about the history of Cartagena this is a
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tour that all of us are taking along
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with people who we don’t know we all get
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shuttle into a bus
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um and we get to know a little bit more
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about cancer henna we start off by going
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to this like Lake where we learn about
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how they create salt and how to get salt
1:24
from the river and then we go to a spot
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where there’s an inactive volcano and we
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do this like really fun mud like bath
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inside this inactive volcano so the last
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place we go to
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um is the beach and this beach they
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prepared meals for us and also it’s like
1:41
empty we will go like during like a
1:43
non-tourcy time
1:44
um it’s April I decide to like go
1:47
further ahead so I can get to the water
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first and like spend some time with them
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with the water
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and I take off my shirt
1:57
um and I just
1:59
for like there’s a lot of like touching
2:01
myself and just like being like you’re
2:03
safe you’re here
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we here son we hear and we said we’re
2:07
gonna do this my body looks real
2:09
stunning
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um but it doesn’t fit the conventional
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like this is what a complete this is
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what like a male body looks like and you
2:20
know black folks
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um when they have surgery have a lot of
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keloids more than other folks and so I
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just have Scar and that’s a long way to
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say an abscarn I have like a little pink
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nib when I have a little Brown Nipple
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like my hey I think it’s cute I love my
2:33
body so I’m out in these in these Beach
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streets with my shirt lit myself
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shirtless um drinking a little drink my
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friends are out here and one of the
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people on the bus
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um this uh young a young Colombian woman
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comes up to me and she’s like a lot like
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um and she has a phone with her and she
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comes up to me she’s like hey my
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partner’s on the phone and they’ve never
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seen a trans person can I introduce you
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and she continues to like they’re trans
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I was like holy
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um I was like I don’t see Kitty any
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Spanish um and she’s like it’s more than
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okay like so you just want to like see
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that you exist so she gives me the phone
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they’re wearing this like uh wide lapel
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collar blue shirt uh button-down shirt
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light skin blonde hair and it’s like
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soup like this like it’s um they have
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glasses they smile at me and it’s
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and they’re like hi and I’m like okay
3:26
like what’s up they just have this like
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the warmth of of their energies
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everything and their attire is
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everything
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um and they’re just she’s into like
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that’s I think all I got and I was like
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I’m good like how are you and I think
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the partner may have translated like a
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few words I said they smiled and they’re
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like this is what I want to do
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um and I say that like as if I knew
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exactly said but like I think it’s
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because the context I was given and the
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I do remember the acts like does it does
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it hurt do you regret it
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um but not like a
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uh like I’m I’m scared of regret it was
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more like are you happy
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um and I was like
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I remember doing this do it
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I don’t know I know it’s hard but like
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do it and they was like yeah the
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continuation of her story she was
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telling me that her partner wants to get
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gender firming care
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um but they’re really afraid of what
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like of what the world’s gonna say but
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like one the affordability and having to
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go to the US for it and they’re just
4:28
afraid of like it happening and they
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come into realization and but they’ve
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never seen another person just to see me
4:34
um in it and be happy with myself and be
4:37
shirtless uh they’re like that’s what’s
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up and then we took a photo together and
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we went about our our way in our time
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and it was just beautiful
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um it was an April perfect day
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um with fam in all different aspects I
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felt really empowered
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um following meeting them like when I
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see folks on the beach
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now with their scars so many different
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like patterns of healing on our chest it
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is super important to see
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our marks
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um
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their beauty marks I feel like if I
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hadn’t had that experience I wouldn’t
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take my shirt about as confidently as I
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do now and I wouldn’t be such a big
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Advocate to my friends I have friends
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who are older than me who just got Top
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surgery and when I say I’m out here
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let’s go I won’t take over that shirt
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when you need a house friend but no
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one’s home exactly get comfortable I’m
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out here coaching folks like
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because
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um they helped me feel seen
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homie on got to hand the sheets like on
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the phone helped me feel seen and so I
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feel like it’s just I’m paying it
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forward for sure for sure paying it
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forward
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uh it’s a game changer
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[Music]
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thank you
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: iStock
