Note: This story is for those who seek to be in relationship with the opposite sex. This story is NOT for you if you have bought yourself into lies feminism sold you. However, should you wish to change your mind and are fed up deep down, you have come to the right place.
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Today is my seventh sologamy anniversary. Seven years ago in a solo ceremony in my 8ft by 8ft studio apartment, I vowed to always be by my side. To be my own best friend until the day I die.
It seems people love symbols. In essence there is nothing wrong with marrying oneself. But its meaning is lost in blindly following buzzwords.
After my divorce and beginning my life alone from scratch, I had no one by my side.
I had no choice but be committed to myself and my own well-being. No, I didn’t wear a wedding dress or take vows before a priest. All I did was make this cake. It was 5th December 2015.
I was on a journey of self-discovery. I understand the significance a thing or an event can have symbolically.
What I have also learned through practicing self-love is that it’s not about making yourself the center of attention by throwing a huge wedding and take vows in front of people to show people that you love yourself and be with yourself in sickness and in health.
But that’s exactly how buzzwords work. It’s cool because other people are doing it. And you do it because those other people are doing it.
Why would someone do that?
This happens when someone has not taken the time to get to know themselves deeply. In the below video, a woman seen primping and preening herself, applying makeup and talking about “loving yourself” gives a clue about the shallowness of sologamy.
Self-love is not something to proclaim publicly. To drive this point home I’m going to use what I learned through practicing yoga as an example.
We don’t use the body to get into a pose. We use a pose to get into the body.
Yoga, like most things in life, has been commercialized. It’s like people can’t do yoga without the drama of hot lululemon pants. That’s what it’s become all about — attention and show.
Where is the deeper practice in reflection? That’s what yoga and self-love are about. Yoga poses facilitate inquiry and spiritual connection. It disciplines one to live life in constant reflection. It’s the same with self-love.
If you’re someone considering sologamy, ask yourself if you can love yourself without the display of sologamy. Sologamy is the proverbial “lululemon pants’ without which it is very much possible to cultivate the yogic discipline of self-love.
It’s not easy. But in today’s glamorized world of short attention span and promotion of instant gratification, what else could one expect other than commercialization of every bloody thing?
DEI- diversity, equity and inclusion. Every company is into it because every other company is doing it. The understanding of the concept and practice of inclusion have gone out the window. These are simply buzzwords.
They have a buzz about them. Sologamy is a new buzzword. It means fuck all. But hey, it’s popular. And YOLO bitches!
Someone’s got to make money off people’s stupidity. The below article is published on a travel website.
Now you have grand solo wedding travel packages. Congratulations! Have fun on your solo honeymoon. How’s your sex life?
Twenty-four year old Kshama Bindu described marrying herself as an act of self-love. Yes. That’s quite an “act” to put on. You get media’s attention. It’s a trend that has caught on fire in many countries.
To me, this seems another thing a feminist would do. Of course, they’ll say that feminism is not just about women. Men also have the option to chose sologamy.
Wait for the cat fight in the comments. Meanwhile… here’s a joke.
A Brazilian lingerie model divorced herself after sologamy because she had found someone. Wow!
I’m curious. How committed was she to loving herself when she decided to marry herself?
As a self-love advocate and relationship coach, here’s the biggest part your self-love plays in your relationship:
Your relationship with yourself is of utmost importance. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it is hard to have a good relationship with another person.
Well, why should you do the hard work of loving yourself if sologamy gets you attention from the media? If that’s true then you didn’t want a relationship. All you wanted was attention. Marrying yourself doesn’t change the fact that you are single.
The question is why commit to yourself? And do you need buzzword like sologamy to show self-love?
I practiced self-love in silence. My hard work in silence is successfully making noise on Amazon as well as in real life.
Self-love is a commitment to yourself. You don’t make promises to others. You make promises to yourself, and you keep them. That’s integrity.
Self-love is not about manicured hands. It’s about regular housecleaning. Roll up your sleeves and do the dirty work of tidying up your life and taking personal responsibility. Without taking emotional responsibility for yourself, sologamy is nothing more than following a stupid trend.
Life is too short to get buzzed on every new buzzword. Being wild and free doesn’t serve a woman. Women need men for different reasons than men need women. It doesn’t change the fact that both sexes need each other.
That’s not unfairness. That’s biology.
There’s no cure for stupidity. May be there’s more to this than meets the eye. May be sologamy is a mental disorder.
Thanks for being here.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com