We have a serious problem in America. I’m not talking about COVID. I’m not talking about any number of political issues that are beaten to death in the media on a daily basis. I’m not talking about the environment.
No, I am talking about an issue that not nearly enough are talking about: our unhealthy obsession with work. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly OK to take pride in what you do and to want to be the best that you can in your field. A competitive drive is only human and I believe we all have a bit of it in us.
The real issue is that we have a built a culture where professional success is regarded by an overwhelming number of us to be the most important thing in our lives. Work consumes us, and many do not even realize that it is happening until it is too late. Many of you reading this right now may think you have a suitable work-life balance, but I think further evaluation would prove that to not be quite true.
Ask yourself, how many times has work interfered with your personal life, and compare that to how often your personal life has interfered with your work. Think about all the holidays you have had to work during your life. Think about days you’ve had to stay late at the office, or have had to go in early. Think about the family gatherings or social events that you have passed on due to having to work the next day. All of these instances, which may seem insignificant when viewed individually, add up to hours upon hours of time that you have lost; Time that could have been spent with loved ones and that you can never recover.
It is drilled into our brains from the time that we are young children that being a grown-up is all about getting a good job to support ourselves and our families. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with this, as those seem to be good goals to have. What we are not warned about, however, is that as our careers progress, we will get to a point where our work life completely overtakes our personal lives. We work to live, and we live to work. We spend so many of our waking hours focused on our careers that we are left with little time to enjoy the fruits of our labor or to focus on the things that are really most important.
This Was My Wake-Up Call
The reality of our workaholic tendencies hit me like a freight train this morning. Our son, who normally goes to daycare, is sick today and unable to attend. As my wife and I stressed over what to do, I found myself thinking about whether I can really afford to miss a day of work. I have a lot to do, and the stress of upcoming deadlines loomed over me as I debated with and began arguing with my wife about who should stay home, what we have for paid time off available, and what I have for work that urgently needs to be completed today. It was eventually agreed that she would take the first half of the day off, and I would take the second half of the day to care for our child.
This whole ordeal made me realize that we’ve come to a point where our careers rule our entire life, and this is not the way it should be. We should not be fretting over a day of work so much that we seriously have to do mental gymnastics to determine what to do about our sick child. The answer should be but rarely is, perfectly clear: Just take care of your family. Period. Work can wait.
This attitude, unfortunately, is engrained in our culture in this country. Our workaholic society has become a beast that just keeps feeding more and more on our happiness. The importance placed on professional success has become so overwhelming that the average American feels as though they are a failure if they do not become a corporate drone who places more importance on the bottom line of their employer than they do on the quality and quantity of time spent with their families. I know many of you reading this are thinking “No, not me. I know family comes first.” But I believe that if you really stop to think about it, you often fall victim to this all-work-and-no-play mentality far more often than you care to admit.
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So, what is the solution? I wish I knew. I do not have a fix for this beast that we have created. All I, or any of us, can do is to continue to remind ourselves that when push comes to shove, our employer does not love us. Sure, some employers may care about their employees, but not above their own bottom line. No, your employer does not love you, but your family does. When the day comes that you part ways with your current employer, whether voluntarily or via termination, your friends and family are the ones who will be there to make everything alright.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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Photo credit: Adolfo Félix on Unsplash