I’m not the most conventional of matchmakers.
For starters, I’m single. I’ve already talked about how that works and why it doesn’t at all mean I’m bad at my job, but I know it still surprises some people.
My approach to matchmaking also raises a few eyebrows every now and then, since a lot of people still subscribe to traditional dating practices that I believe no longer apply today.
But even though I can’t speak for all professional matchmakers and dating coaches of the world, I do hold some inside knowledge about the industry and my vocation that I’d like to give you all a little peek into.
Those Who Can, Teach
“Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.”
No offense to Mr. George Bernard Shaw, but sometimes, those who can also choose to teach.
As a single woman, I have a unique perspective on matchmaking that helps me be effective in finding happiness for my clients. The fact that I’m also still looking for The One means I’m just about in the same boat, so I know things people who are currently spoken for just don’t get.
But I’ve also had my fair share of love affairs, both good and bad, so it proves that I can do love and I can throw myself into the dating scene as successfully as I teach it through my job.
Both instances are true because matchmaking is a field that is distinct from its practitioners, and it follows reliable processes that we professional dating coaches take great pains in studying and refining.
Similar to how therapists are not mere “shrinks” who listen to people talk and cast judgments at random, matchmaking is also a discipline that, when done right, can provide people with trustworthy services that result in happy, fulfilling relationships.
An Art and a Science
I’ve gone from being accused that my job doesn’t exist to watching my clients tie the knot with the loves of their lives. I know I’ve got it.
The secret? An understanding that being a dating coach is both a science and an art.
Matchmaking is a science because we do follow a systematic approach that’s yielded reproducible results.
What many people don’t know is that it’s never been about smoke and mirrors; it’s serious business.
We do consultation where we get to know our clients in order to build their profiles and make sure we are all on the same page about their preferences. There’s also comprehensive searching and screening, where we take the inconvenience of going out there and doing manual trial and error out of our client’s hands.
Time and proximity have always been two of the major difficulties when it comes to dating, and professional matchmakers make sure those are taken care of.
The art aspect of matchmaking, on the other hand, is the heart of craft.
Sometimes, the profiles and the screening can only do so much, and there needs to be a human element to truly find people who are compatible with each other.
It’s a combination of instinct and experience, and while they can be pretty subjective, the art facet also touches something that the scientific process is hard pressed to replicate: emotion.
Love, at the end of the day, is still one of the greatest emotions out there, and those who wish to find it need someone who understands how people’s desires work and how they dictate actions and ways of life.
Finding good matches for people who genuinely deserve them requires a delicate balance between the heart of matchmaking as an art and its efficacy as a science.
The good news? My colleagues and I have spent a good portion of our lives striving to be the best at finding that balance.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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