The Pandemic has wreaked havoc on lives all over the world. After over a year of quarantining, sheltering in, wearing masks, social distancing, and having to avoid seeing or hugging loved ones, we are tired. Some are not just tired, but rebellious! “Enough is enough,” we wail.
The devastation inflicted by the coronavirus that continues to spread and kill negatively impacts all aspects of our lives day after day across racial, gender, and class divides. The loss of jobs, homes, education for our children, and so many other things we’ve more or less taken for granted in the past are taking an immeasurable toll. These changes will undoubtedly have long-lasting effects.
Yet, many are far more fortunate than others and fairing much better. Societal ills in America of inequality and discrimination have again jarred us out of our stupor. The Coronavirus Pandemic has attacked people of color with a vengeance!
There are many reasons for the discrepancies, racism and economic inequality being paramount. “Persistent racial disparities in health status, access to health care, wealth, employment, wages, housing, income, and poverty all contribute to greater susceptibility to the virus — both economically and physically.”
Furthermore, disproportionate job losses and the subsequent economic fallout have devastated families in minority communities. Being “essential workers” in jobs that place them in workplaces where they are more vulnerable to Covid has also negatively impacted people of color. Most do not have the option of working from home.
These contributing causes are interrelated and fall at the feet of society itself. I do not believe we always write our destiny. Some people’s lives reflect the hand of cards forces beyond their control dealt them.
One Silver Lining of The Pandemic — Evolving Gender Roles
Yet, there may be a silver lining in some of this. It has forced some people to be more reflective, more creative, more empathetic, and compassionate. Even amid great suffering, there is the tendency for neighbors to reach out and lend a helping hand to each other. A humanitarian gene takes over, and we look for ways to help those less fortunate. We learn to give and receive small gestures of kindness with gratitude.
The Pandemic has changed how and where we work, which brings me to an area of interest, gender equality around work.
Frankly, I have never been a stay-at-home mom, except for a few months after each of my sons’ birth. But boy, do I appreciate that being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job!
I mentioned earlier a silver lining. It is this: the Pandemic is forcing men to have new and varied experiences with their spouses and children, unlikely just a year ago.
More and more men are working from home full-time and learning what it means to be an at-home dad. Some men who have never appreciated the work involved with running a home are getting a hands-on education.
At the end of a workday, men who came home to a prepared dinner with no domestic-related duties are no longer taking this for granted. The time with the children ‘shushed’ away to let daddy “wind down” after his busy day has dramatically changed. Being home all day provides many opportunities for “quality” time with the kids.
Even if moms were working outside the home, it was their job to juggle career, the household, the children, and all things related to running the house. Of course, making dinner for the family, cleaning the kitchen, checking homework, and getting the kids bathed and off to bed was part of her job.
As my mother used to say, “We women are always left with the bag to hold and tie.” I did not understand what this meant until I was indeed holding and tying the bag by myself!
This Pandemic is creating incredible opportunities for men! They can better empathize with the women in their lives who have been allowing them to go about their jobs unencumbered. Men did not have to think about what a typical day in a mother’s life entailed.
That is not to take away anything from men being good husbands, partners, fathers, or providers. Being a full-time at-home dad adds another and very different dimension to their lives as partners in a family relationship.
It is also an opportunity for men to develop different kinds of relationships with their children. It provides a new role model that expands expectations and possibilities for developing young minds and personalities. There is no reason children should learn stereotypical roles for men and women. Doing so can only limit what they see as possible as they grow up.
There is also a more balanced sharing of domestic chores and responsibilities such as meal planning, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and child care. Just in my family, I see men are stepping up without seeing any of these new roles as challenging their masculinity.
They also see the non-stop busyness of being an at-home parent and can better imagine the challenge of juggling a career and taking care of a home and family.
This time at home might also make men as partners more inclined to support women on issues such as childcare, homeschooling, equal pay in the workplace, pregnancy, and new parent paid sick leave. Walking in the shoes of another is enlightening.
Many stay-at-home-moms also work from home, some creating budding online businesses that supplement the family income. With both partners at home sharing the household responsibilities, it gives both more time to pursue their individual business goals while supporting each other.
The Pandemic means that millions of children are out of school. Some homeschooling has become mandatory for many kids. Children need parental guidance and input, whether following school-provided curriculums or those created by the parents. I imagine this works optimally if both parents are involved in the planning and teaching of their children.
The Pandemic has eliminated many learning opportunities for children outside of formal instruction. The closing of museums, aquariums, zoos, and even limiting playdates and parties have negatively impacted children’s learning and socialization skills development. Moms and dads must fill in those gaps, and it seems that both are stepping up to the plate.
Living with a Pandemic is indeed one of those times in life when, if given lemons, we make lemonade, or if a door is closed, we find another to walk through.
And please, listen to the scientists and pandemic experts. Follow the guidelines to protect yourself and others. Let your mask-wearing be a statement of love and caring. Let following the safety guidelines be a testament to you doing your part to save all of us from another year or two or three facing this deadly and inconvenient virus.
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This post was previously published on Medium.
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