Remember the summer days at the lake or river? I do. They were warm, fun, and wet. Children played happily in the water, displacing the cool liquid everywhere, while they splashed and enjoyed the summer sun.
Some children, quite curious, would push the floatation toys down, only to have them pop right back up, often higher than they pushed them down. As they continued to play, other kids came over and joined in the fun. They wanted to see how long it would take to get the floater down. While they had a blast, they never succeeded. Why is that?
Reference. com shared, “When an object displaces water, it is competing with the water for a lower position since both the object and the water are subject to gravity.”
If we apply the same concept to our thoughts, we might understand why we explode or lose it over seemingly minor offenses. At first look, they seem small, but like the water competing with the object, they build up pressure.
When we have a negative thought we want to get rid of, we might refuse to enter the mind. We block it. Ignore it. Change it. And each of these tactics works for a while. Soon, though, the buildup of not acknowledging the pain of upsetting thought implodes on us either internally or externally. Often, when it is internal, we digress to depression or external, we explode on family, friends, or random people on the street.
What does the study tell us about thought suppression? At first glance, it seems reasonable to stop unwanted thoughts from showing up. So, suppress them! We habitually ignore thoughts and feelings. We stuff them down, deep, deep inside, and seek to distract ourselves with the ideology that we have accomplished some great deed. Instead, we end up feeling worse, emotionally, and not heard. The downside to denial of thoughts is their resurgence.
When we purposely stuff emotions or thoughts down, those thoughts or feelings build up. They begin to put pressure on us and start to inhibit a calm, peaceful mindset. Especially troublesome is the struggle between intrusive thoughts and PTSD.
It was further noted in the study, as mentioned earlier, that people who experienced Chronic PTSD and those who did not present with any diagnosis of PTSD still had the same response to thought suppression.
The rebound effect increases regardless of mental health limitations or not. People who stuff their thoughts will find them resurface stronger and more noticeable. Hence the concept of the rebound.
The rebound increased negative affect, higher rates of distress, heightened sense of anxiety.
Instead of stuffing and denying thoughts, we can become friends with our minds. Become curious about your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself where they are coming from and give yourself compassion. One powerful tool allows the idea to be what it is, without judgment rather than become the thought. If we practice a simple plan to separate ourselves from the thought or feeling, we become empowered to be our unique person.
Much like the floatation toys used for lake and river fun, we can allow them to pop to the surface. We are OK with them floating on the surface, much like we can be OK with the thoughts when they arrive.
The next time you want to suppress an idea or your client wants to do so, stop yourself and observe. Give yourself some grace. Help your clients learn how to let themselves ‘be’ without forcing them to stop thinking. Catching a thought doesn’t mean to prevent it from existing. It means to catch it, decide the best step, and allow it to float on by, like the toys upon the water.
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This post was previously published on Change Your Mind Change Your Life.
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