If you’re like most professionals, you probably want to succeed, but you may resist coaching for reasons you’re not even aware. However, you can develop skills and qualities, which prepares you to accept guidance.
Each step helps you act in a way of maturity and development. Even leaders like Dean Graziosi, Malcolm Gladwell, and Yo-Yo Ma all had someone to guide them and help them become the leaders in their field that they are today.
Even C.E.O.’s of large organizations or corporations are looking at hiring executive coaches. According to Stanford University, they seek coaches to help them handle conflict better, develop and mentor talent, learn to delegate, and improve their team building. While 100% want a coach, only 34% actually follow through at utilize a coach. What does that say about those of us who need a life coach to take us to another level? Much!
Self-improvement is a life investment that transfers across personal and professional lines. Or in the words of Lao Tzu, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
To improve yourself, learn how to become coachable. Use this checklist to find the areas you need to work on to have a successful relationship with your coach.
Communication Skills:
Listen closely.
Pay attention to what your coach has to say. Look for the truth in any message instead of dismissing their perspective or trying to make excuses. Maintain eye contact without a incessant stare down, and resist any urge to interrupt. You might find note taking helpful.
Ask questions.
Ensure you understand what your coach is says. Paraphrase their statements in your own words. Clarify any points you’re unsure of and ask for concrete examples. Even ask them to slow down so you do understand rather than assume you ‘got it’.
Take your time.
Let yourself absorb the information thoroughly. Focus on responding thoughtfully rather than quickly. If a situation stirs up strong feelings, allow yourself to calm down so you can think clearly. Take a timeout to process the emotions. There is usually some negative memory attached to a strong emotion and if you can locate the source, you’ll be one step closer to freedom and more pliable. Coaches can work with those who want to grow.
Welcome feedback.
Ask others for input frequently and graciously. It helps to stay in practice and have multiple viewpoints while working with your coach. Ask others what they think.
At first, be prepared to get fluff from people.
They will say what they think you want them to say.
Get real with them, ask them questions to help them dig down and find what matters. Accept the feedback that feels uncomfortable.
Watch your body language.
Ensure your gestures and expressions are friendly and consistent with your words. Coaches are human, and it’s easier for them to engage with you when they feel respected and appreciated. In other words, if you feel like rolling your eyes, don’t. Get enough sleep so you are not yawning, and while you are sitting, take a moment to get up and stretch. You’ll limit the need to yawn and wake up your tired brain.
Open up.
Recognize there is more than one way to approach the same goals. Consider your coach’s suggestions even when they’re different from your usual methods.
The worst thing which can happen is it doesn’t work. The best? You find a new way to do something and learn in the process.
Other Skills and Qualities:
Value learning.
Are you excited about adding to your knowledge and stretching your skills? Learning is a mindset, which helps you make sounder decisions and adapt to change. It can also motivate you to persevere through the coaching process.
Neil Gaiman, author and professor at Bard College, stated in his Masterclass, “You get ideas from what you have seen, and have known about…and they collide. These collisions become your experience to write.” Your experience with a coach is part of the process of change.
Set goals.
While your coach can help you reach your goals, you need to be sure that your targets are specific and meaningful. Write your goals out and tell others about them so you’ll feel more accountable. Start with small, simple goals like what you will wear in the morning and soon, as you conquer them, you’ll set larger goals. For instance, getting a job, going to college, or writing your book.
Adjust your expectations.
Do you understand the difference between coaching and consulting? Some organizations hire a consultant, and the consultant fixes a specific issue. A coach works with you to build your strengths to achieve the outcomes you desire.
Cultivate gratitude.
Thank your coach for the positive impact they make in your life. Putting their insights into action is also an effective way to show them they’re making a difference. Remember the helpers. In the future, when you help others, remember when you were the one who needed assistance. Go easy on people, and still hold them accountable.
You’ll continue to grow and the work is paid forward. Powerful!
Be humble.
Remember that your coach and anyone you meet has valuable things to teach you. Tame your ego to create productive relationships and take advantage of rewarding opportunities.
Everyone is a teacher in some form. They either teach positive and helpful ideas, or they teach you what not to copy. Remember where you came from and who helped you along the way. You’ll continue to teach others by your examples.
Practice consistently.
How can you take what you learn from coaching and make positive changes in your work life? Develop a strategy for enhancing your performance and set specific goals for areas where you want to grow. Deliberate practice requires discipline and effort, but it pays off.
Accept the uncomfortable in the moment for the success of tomorrow. ~PJN
Evaluate your progress.
Self-examination is an integral part of the coaching process. Reflect on the areas you’ve already covered and what you want to do next. Enjoy discovering more about yourself and your abilities.
. . .
Being coachable is about being ready and willing to learn and grow. Unlock your potential so you can achieve tremendous personal and professional success. Coaching can help you clarify your vision and leverage your strengths if you know how to use your coach’s resources. Time and effort are valuable commodities. Can you help someone else move along faster by the experiences you have? Yes, it is in there.
As you explore the gift of becoming coachable, you’ll find reasons to grow, share, and blossom as a person. Today you may consider getting a coach, tomorrow you’ll be coached, and the next thing you know, you are coaching others. It comes back around full circle when we make learning, giving, and investing in ourselves a positive step.
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This post was previously published on Change Your Mind Change Your Life.
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