Dating can be hard work. If things don’t go your way you can be left feeling frustrated.
For some, it’s a constant struggle to maintain a healthy dating life. They have trouble deciding who to date, how to act and what to say. For others, dating is easy; they meet people easily and fall in love easily.
There are many factors that contribute to a positive dating life. However, there are also some underlying problems that many people face.
Dating isn’t easy for everyone, but it doesn’t have to be impossible either. You just need to know how to start off the right foot and act once on a date.
If you’re having trouble dating, consider some of the issues below that can keep you from finding love.
1. Coming Across as Desperate
I guarantee that nobody wants to be seen as desperate. I’m sure you would be mortified if you discovered that you came across this way.
The truth is that really wanting something can make people act in this way. It is self-destructive because it stops people from wanting to date you.
A person would wonder if you had genuine feelings for them or if you are so desperate that you would get together with anybody so that you’re not single.
When you are in this frame of mind you often miss warning signs that a person is not right for you.
Signs that you may be this type of person are you find yourself willing to date anybody, you constantly try to please even if you do not benefit and you find that dating is taking over your life.
If you think you are facing this issue, consider the good things you already have. Although it would be great to meet someone don’t make this your sole purpose constantly.
2. Too Picky
This is opposite to point one but still vitally important.
Although I’m not suggesting letting your standards completely slip it is important to be realistic. We would all love to get with someone of Hollywood standard, but we are in the real world.
Being like this will significantly reduce your chances of dating successfully. Nobody is perfect and how would you feel if your date expected you to be 100% perfect?
I have known people that are too picky and they have been single for upwards of ten years. This suggests to me that what they want may not exist.
If you think that this could be you then consider if your expectations are holding you back. Think about the positive qualities that the person has. If there are more things that you like than dislike, consider if this person is still worth dating.
How someone comes across is really important when dating. People prefer to date happy people that are fun to be around.
Being negative either online or in person is a big no no. No matter how many other qualities you have this will be overshadowed if you are not a positive person.
Keep in mind that people are often looking for a life partner and personality is high on most peoples’ priorities. Although there are some that prioritize appearance these relationships often do not last if there is no substance to them.
Some examples of negative behavior are badmouthing others, badmouthing your date, or having a general negative outlook on life.
If you think that you are negative, then consider what the reason is for this. Think about if you are currently in the right frame of mind to be dating. There are benefits to taking time out to improve your mindset before continuing with dating.
4. You Want Different Things
When you first start dating someone it’s easy to just concentrate on having fun.
If you have been dating someone for a while you may consider bringing up the topic of what you both want. Only then may you discover that you want different things after months of dating.
It is important to remember that people can be at different stages in life. You may want something serious while your date may not want anything serious.
It is important to find out early on if you both want the same things. If you have different goals, then you may not be the right match for each other.
5. Single Mindset
If you have been single for a while, it can be difficult to get used to dating again.
It can be very scary to get back out there, and this often puts people off. Those that are brave enough to start dating again, may not know how to act.
Sometimes people become comfortable with single life. Part of them wants to be with someone but there is also a part that is used to their current circumstances.
If you are in a single mindset, it may take time to become used to dating again.
Going on dates is an essential part of dating. It’s important to have dates so you can meet new people and build relationships. However, many people find it difficult to go on dates.
They think that their lack of experience makes them incompatible with new dates. This is not true- all it takes is some planning and research to find success on dates.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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