Living in an era of technology is beneficial as it provides an ease to human life. It has shortened the distance between people living thousands of miles away. Beloved ones are just one click away to reach. You are never alone in times of happiness or sadness. I still remember the day when my mother used to write letters to communicate with her siblings as there were no cell phones back in 1998 in Pakistan.
Technology provided comfort is not free. It comes at some price if left unattended. Sometimes people get too attached with friends or loved ones that their relations annoy themselves. It happens due to the extra care, involvement, consideration and entanglement due to the tech. This way technology is killing our relation and its imperceptible.
For example:
You are in a happy mode had a good day in the office and receive a message from your friend who is having a tough day and pissed off a bit but you are ignorant of his feelings because you did not meet him personally at this moment. You just got a message on a cell phone which never explains the shape of the person unless he explains first that I ain’t in a funny mode so just do whatever I am saying.
Let’s observe the different scenario you have to face in this case.
Scene 1
He: Hi, How are you? let’s eat something. what about pizza?
You: Hmm, will you pay for me too? (You are smiling but he can’t see you smiling on message. Although you sent an emoji, it annoyed him)
He: You can pay for yourself. You are not penniless.
You: Ok then, I will eat whenever I want (and put a smiley face because you are just making fun due to the happy mood you are having right now)
He was already fed up with his frantic routine and your joyful humour pissed him off. The same joke you both have had enjoyed in past is becoming a pain in his ass now. One can never judge the tune of the angry person on messages unless he speaks about it directly. It’s hard to synchronize with the unseen face expressions and the words someone is putting on your screen. So, he replies now.
HE: huh, how are a friend you for me? You always do this, I never say no to you. it’s ok, I am not fooled, you have differences with me while other friends are important to you.
Now technology hits you both. This smartphone provided a chance to talk at the time of no need. You had a good time with this friend on weekend but the desire of having the company of you at this moment made the situation worse. A human cannot be caring at all the time and everyone needs some personal space. Some time to live with itself.
Now invert the situation and keep yourself in a situation where you had a hectic routine. You are planning for some activities you do other than studies or job. Now, this friend contacts you.
Scene 2
He: Hi, How are you? Will you accompany me to the Pizza shop
You: No, I just ate my homemade rice.
He: Oh nice, OK come and just give me a company
You: No man, it will kill my time.
He: huh, you always do this. Spending time with me isn’t your priority. Whenever I ask you to accompany me you make excuses.
Now, you are astonishingly scratching your head and thinking what you just read. He wants your company while you have some other stuff to do. This is not a critical situation or a time when he direly needs your help. It was just a self-created moment which could have been ignored if this cell phone would not have been invented. Just kidding. but, indeed, technology sometimes put us in a weird undesired situation. Talking to someone when he/she is already depressed to increase the possibility of bickering with each other and cell phones triggered this situation.
Scene 3
Now, he is calling you and you are not in a mood to get calls. You just kept the phone on silent and resting. You need personal space after having some hectic day or you just come back from the market with other mutual friend and spend some good time there or you had some sports activity on weekends which makes you tired and your friend is asking you in the evening to go with him. You can’t afford to hang out due to time constraint. You cannot entertain all friends on the same day. But the situation is weird now. After calling on the cellular network he left a message on Whats-app.
Suddenly, you remember the promise you had to your wife or parents to call them in the evening and its time now. You are living in another city or country and fixed time on a week you talk to your family. If you open Whatsapp and he sees you online, you will be blamed for not responding to him. So, you are trapped now.
As a reader of this post, you might be thinking that a man should be straight forward enough to say Yes or No in any of these situations. Instead of ignoring someone just say whatever you are feeling. I agree. This is true up to some point. How you respond to any situation depends upon the history you have. You know saying No will brought you several other questions and unwillingly you have to answer them or sudden disconnecting the call would be a solution. This will increase problems. So, you better decide to let it be unattended for some time.
This is where technology is hitting you. It’s facilitating you to some extent but its playing with human behaviours as well.
Solution
We cannot get rid of this advancement. We have to be a tech user willingly or unwillingly. We need to do read books on human behaviours, emotional interactions, and relationships etc. We are responsible for what we do and say to others. Words are generated in our mind according to the situation we face. We can not change our daily situations. We cannot limit ourselves to meet the only people we want to meet. We cannot change the behaviour of our audience. But we can only practice and change our mind to speak. Understanding the nature of our beloved ones and respond according to their nature will help us bringing love and respect in our relations. So, every reader of this post is requested to read or watch trainer videos on making a friendly personality.
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Previously published on “Change Becomes You”, a Medium publication.
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Photo credit: www_slon_pics from Pixabay