Big stuff, like love and careers, can get scary. But these three and a half words give you the courage to be great!
Consider that you are on the precipice of leaving a toxic relationship.
Or a stultifying work situation.
On the flip side, perhaps you are falling in love.
Maybe you are up for a BIG promotion.
In each case, you hesitate. Your heart races. Your thoughts churn as you entertain the
What if I am alone forever?
What if I can’t pay my rent?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I cannot do what is expected of me?
What if I have to work too hard?
What if I get really hurt?
People will spout all sorts of wisdom and say encouraging things.
Don’t let fear lead.
Better to have loved than lost.
Everything happens for a reason.
Do what you love and the money will follow.
Do they help you shift?
Sometimes. Other times, especially when you’ve been around the block a few times, these types of truisms can feel empty. This is because you are not looking for advice. You are looking to put an end to discomfort, which you probably know, is futile. Discomfort is a part of growth and change.
But there are three and-a-half words I recommend and never get sick of saying to myself and to certain loved ones. No matter what kind of situation is occurring, they always bring the courage and the percentage of comfort that is needed.
These words are:
“I’ll be there.”
What if the money runs out?
“I’ll be there.”
What if my heart gets broken?
“I’ll be there.”
Because you will.
And of course, if in a moment you are panicking and if you remember, you can shorten it to two and one-half simple words:
I cannot believe this is happening.
“I’m here.” Say it to yourself, over and over.
The more you say these words with conviction and presence, the more you experience what it means to show up for yourself. What it means to be there when the shit hits the fan, when your life as you know it either explodes into success or falls to pieces. And if you are interested in loving deeply and leading effectively, it will do just that from time to time. I’ll be there will help you cultivate the strength to wait patiently while whatever needs to shift, peel off or come apart does, so you can integrate and emerge anew.
And the more you remember to say these words, and mean them, and experience being there for yourself, the easier it is to say them to others. When your child expresses fear about trying out for the school play. When your employee confesses concerns about taking on a new project. When your dear friend courageously leaves a spouse of 20 years.
Saying these words and living their meaning becomes a valuable relationship and leadership skill.
And then, when you understand what it means to be there, without needing to fix or change what doesn’t need to be fixed or changed, your loving and leading become quite profound. The amount of intimacy accessible to you is vast and nourishing. The amount of influence you have grows exponentially. Because you earn a reputation for showing up. For having the courage to take big risks. For being a refuge. For being love itself.
I’ll be there. No matter what.
What words do rely upon to love and lead well?
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Originally published at BlairGlaser.com
Photo: Flickr/Sarah Reid