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In 2016, a psychologist asked my son to identify an expression on a little girl’s face. The girl on the card was scared. He answered. “She has a toothache; her tooth is hurting.” He couldn’t read expressions.
Earlier this week, as we watched The Disney Channel, he recognized an expression on a little boy’s face. He pointed to the TV. “Mama, look. That boy is excited.” I felt joy. I felt proud.
This year our battle was with awareness but recently he showed me that he was already aware. For months, I walked out the front door without noticing a small beehive implanted by the porch lights. He noticed. When cartoonists draw too may talons (feet) on birds, he notices. Patterns that are hidden, and have nothing to do with his homework—he finds them.
Of all that my son has taught me, here are two lessons I’ll never forget:
Small victories are giant victories.
I saw a video on Facebook about a boy blowing a candle out on his birthday cake. He had practiced blowing until he mastered it. I do not know the boy or his mother but I understand their journey. Autism makes the skills most people learn naturally, difficult. It takes time. There will be moments of discouragement, and moments of well-earned triumphs.
An abnormality is normal.
There are rules for behavior: Act a certain way, then you will be considered well-mannered and civilized. I adore the fact that my son does not care what people think. Sometimes when we go shopping, he chooses to dress in a costume, and that’s perfectly fine. Sometimes he sits, anywhere, when his feet are tired. Other times, he is quietly drawing in his notebook. Being different is normal. I hope, one day, to be half as brave as he is.
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Photo credit: Getty Images