People seem to use the word sociopath loosely and have it mean so many different things. Your boyfriend may call you a sociopath because he is mad, or your wife may tell you to stop being such a sociopath when you are arguing over something. However, someone who is a true sociopath has what is called antisocial personality disorder. Although that description tends to make people think of someone who avoids others, so others use the term sociopathic personality disorder. No matter how you say it, the meaning is the same. It is someone who lacks empathy but can fake it like a pro when they need to.
Signs of a Sociopath
You see, a sociopath is typically a highly intelligent and charismatic person who can be hard to spot. They know how to lie and manipulate others to make them believe they honestly care about you and your feelings when they couldn’t care less. Here are some signs of sociopathy:
- Disregard for others
- Cruel to children or animals
- Hates to be criticized
- Very good at lying
- Can fake any emotion to convince others
- May be hostile or aggressive if crossed
- Need to be in control
- Must be doing something all the time
- No remorse or guilt
- Reckless and impulsive
- Secretive or very private
- Think they are better than everyone else
- Cheating on their partner
- Not close to their family
- Does not mind breaking the law
Sociopath vs. Psychopath
Although sociopathy and psychopathy have some common attributes and signs, there are differences that can help you tell them apart. While both the sociopath and psychopath do not feel empathy or emotions, the sociopath will fake them to get what they want. A psychopath does not care what others think and does not bother faking emotions. A sociopath is a sociable person who seems to have a lot of friends, but a psychopath does not care to be around others. One thing to note is that a sociopath is much harder to spot than a psychopath because they actually try to fit in while the psychopath does not.
How to Tell if Your Loved One is a Sociopath
First of all, a sociopath is a charming and friendly person who tends to have a lot of friends but do not have long relationships with them. They can fake their feelings and hide their lies and manipulation, but eventually, others will see it. Lying all the time is one way that they usually get caught up. If you constantly catch your partner in lies but they are always able to talk you out of being mad at them, they may be a sociopath.
Why Are You Mad at Me?
When you get mad or upset with a sociopath, they cannot figure out why. You may be out together, and your partner may make a comment about your weight that hurts your feelings. But then when you try to talk to them about it, they just do not fathom why that would hurt you or make you angry. They just do not see the problem.
You Cannot Stay Mad
When you do explain to them why you are hurt or angry, do they manage to make you feel like you are the bad guy? Do your arguments end up with you saying you are sorry for something they did? That is because sociopaths are smooth talkers who can make you believe that what they did was not bad, and it is all your fault for getting mad over nothing.
They Let You Down
Because sociopaths do not consider other people’s feelings, they will let you down often. The appointment you had for dinner on your anniversary will slip his mind because he is out hanging with his friends. And after he realizes what he did, he won’t even care. Somehow, it will end up being your fault. Again.
They Cannot Keep a Job
Because they are so self-absorbed, psychopaths are usually not good at holding onto a job. Although they can do well in sales because they are so charming, their charm can only get them so far in the real world. Just like with their friends, they will eventually show their true colors and then do not see what they did as something bad. For instance, if your friend or partner gets caught taking too many breaks, they won’t understand why they got in trouble with the boss. So, they often just blow it off and do it again.
Do Not Make Them Mad
One thing a sociopath can feel is anger or even rage. If you make your partner mad, they will not let it slide until they feel they are vindicated. They will plan revenge in a calculated and maybe even dangerous way to get back at whoever crosses them. And they will never forget. Even if they say they are over it, you will hear about it over and over until you finally just give up.
Sociopathy Can Be Treated
With intensive therapy and counseling, your partner can change if they want to. But first, you have to confront them and get them to understand they need help. Because they see themselves as perfect, they will be hard to convince. They may go to counseling for a while just to make you believe they want help, but it has to be a life choice. More likely, you will be the one who needs to get counseling. Talk to one of the counselors at ReGain.us. You can do it online and do not even need an appointment.
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