I’m sure you’ve had deep conversations previously. Maybe with your relatives, a better half, or even that one individual you generally trade barbs with.
Do you understand what makes them extreme and personal? How the other individual’s eyes glimmer in the dark while they’re looking at something deep and complicated; how the two individuals are continually reaching out for a hand; and how the things they say put them aside from every other person.
At the point when you have genuine conversations like this, it can feel electric and raw. Be that as it may, how do you get there?
Why Deep Conversations are Intimate?
There are many reasons why deep conversations are so close and intimate. As it were, they’re similar to a language with its own grammar rules that you need to dominate before you can convey really.
1. The Way You Look at Each Other
When you talk to someone and look in their eyes, it shows close feelings.
But, most people don’t stare at the person they are chatting with for a long time when they talk to them.
So, if you want to tell each other that you love them, then do it while talking.
A study found that long eye contact can make feelings of love and passion grow, helping to build a stronger bond. Lovers often look into each other’s eyes because it helps them speak a secret and special language only they know.
2. The Way You Use Your Hands
When you touch each other while talking, this raises your closeness feelings. Even something basic like holding hands or hugging shows that both of you are having a close moment together. Studies about how people use their hands have shown that they often show the kind of connection between people.
When two people start a new relationship, they don’t hold hands as often.
This is partly because both partners are still getting used to being together.
But when a man and woman have been together for some time, they’re more likely to grab each other’s hands.
3. The Way You Speak About Each Other
Whether you’re listening to someone talking about their past or how they see the world, the way each of you talks can help build feelings between you.
There have been some studies that show we are more likely to remember things heard from a friend than something spoken by someone unfamiliar.
This is because your brain handles information differently based on how you feel about the person who’s speaking to you. If you’re thinking about a friend while they speak to you, then it helps your brain handle the talk and keep it in mind later.
4. Shared Vulnerability, Finding Meaning and Purpose
People often get closer by talking about their weaknesses. This makes them feel much more connected.
As a famous researcher named Brené Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
This creates love, happiness, and bravery feelings between people. This shared weakness creates a special bond that deep talks usually lack.
Philosophers have been saying for a long time that to be happy, we need to find the meaning in life.
In deep talks, when you speak about things like life’s meaning or ask questions about existence and what’s right or wrong, you connect in a deep-thinking way.
This link is close because it’s not only about having the same experiences but also finding out life secrets together.
5. The Way You Bond Over Your Shared History
When you make a friend and share experiences with someone, it creates a special link between the both of you.
This doesn’t need to be about something that lasts a long time, it can be easy. For example, if you tell a funny story about something that happened to you as a kid, then this will make the person feel close to you emotionally.
This is why talking about your past together can help you make a better bond. It also helps when you’re sharing stories about something that happened to both of you, as this makes the other person feel closer emotionally.
6. The Way You Have Intuitive Glimpses into Each Other’s Minds
When a talk feels like it’s being done by both folks, this means they are matching at a smart level.
Simply understanding each other’s thoughts is hard to describe, but it involves looking into someone’s eyes and seeing how they think. It’s about small things that prove you know what the other person is thinking.
In one study, scientists found that couples who talked often during the day got more excited about each other when they kept talking at night. This allowed them to create a close bond with each other without needing to share words in person.
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Last words:
Do you know what truly forms strong bonds?
The feeling of close connection, between you and another person on an emotional level is something that can’t be taught. You either feel it or don’t and when you do, it can change your life a lot.
So, ask yourself. Can you feel a strong bond with someone? Is there anyone in your life that you can feel strongly connected to? Do want to have a close talk with another person on a very deep level? If the answer is yes, then you are ready to build trust and have an open conversation.
If the answer is no, maybe your relationship isn’t close enough for this kind of intimacy.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Cathy Mü on Unsplash