A life well lived means different things to different people. For most, it includes pursuing your passions. Beyond good health and time with family and friends, writing and artwork bring me great fulfillment. The hard part is orchestrating all the parts of my life into a workable whole. I’ll wager that you face a similar struggle.
Obligations and commitments compete for our time. Juggling the various facets of our lives is a lot like cooking a meal. You have to move things around. Pay attention to what’s currently in the oven. Finish dinner before you enjoy dessert.
When I was a police chief, my cherished studio time to paint and write was often interrupted. There were late-night city council meetings, critical incidents, weekend civic events, press interviews and more. To use the cooking analogy, police work was my main course. It paid the bills and provided for the welfare of my family. Writing and painting were the desserts. Something to look forward to after work. In many ways, my creative passions provided a restorative balance to the rigors of my police career.
“The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.” — Alfred Lord Tennyson
We traverse various seasons in our lives. From childhood and school to early adulthood and careers, these different periods place demands on us. Relationships and children further complicate the picture. Retirement and aging throw their own curveballs.
In order to live the best life ever, you have to develop skills to navigate the waters of life. Skills like self-discipline, humility, patience, fortitude, courage, honesty, kindness and more. Hone these attributes and life will be easier for you. Neglect them, and you will struggle with issues of insecurity, anger, and frustration.
A picture is worth a thousand words
They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. For this reason, I like to illustrate my articles and stories with sketchy cartoons. Through their whimsical gracefulness, I can accentuate my main points and ideas. Also, it’s just plain fun to doodle!
What follows is a collection of random cartoons I’ve drawn for previous blog posts, articles and stories. Beneath each cartoon, you’ll find commentary to underscore the message of each cartoon.
There’s no reason why you can’t have the best life ever. These cartoons and commentaries are meant to give you the support, encouragement, and wisdom to help get you there.
We celebrate breakthroughs in life. Whether it’s reaching the next level with our artwork, achieving greater proficiency with our music, or discovering deeper nuance in our writing. What we tend to forget is the hard work and effort required to reach breakthroughs.
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. Tweak your schedule to make time for practice. Say no to unnecessary commitments. Double down on honing your craft. This is how you grow. This is how you achieve standout performance. The breakthroughs will happen, and you’ll be closer to the best life ever.
Nourish a man’s growth
Criticism is a fact of life. Since none of us are perfect, we’re bound to make mistakes. The trick is to know the difference between constructive criticism and negative criticism.
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” -Frank A. Clark
There are honest people out there who have the courage to tell you what your flaws are, or where you need to improve. Unfortunately, there are also negative people out there, who want to criticize you due to jealousy or a dark heart. Listen to the people who will make you better, and avoid the ones who want to tear you down.
Always consider the source of the criticism, and if there are hidden agendas. Put more faith in numbers. If one person criticizes you, he or she could be wrong. But if twenty people offer the same criticism, it’s more likely they’re right.
Listen to your own heart, but be careful not to buy into your own blind spots and insecurities. In the end, if you get comfortable receiving constructive criticism, you’ll fix your shortcomings, achieve more, and move closer to your best life ever.
Think twice about wielding sarcasm and snarky comments. People sometimes make sarcastic comments and then claim it was just humor. The reality is that sarcasm can wound. Even if you think you’re being funny, your remarks might hurt another.
Conversely, if you’re the recipient of sarcasm, weigh the intent. There is a difference between lighthearted sarcasm and mean-spirited sarcasm. In the end, if you’re not sure, don’t be afraid to call the person on it. Life is too short to be slinging unnecessary barbs at others, and you shouldn’t have to receive such comments either.
The finest minds of past centuries
Speaking of snarky comments, look no further than all those news and opinion programs on television. They attract our attention with urgent graphics and rabid commentators who breathlessly repeat (in endless cycles) the same information. Panels on these programs engage in a sort of political slugfest, as they constantly interrupt one another to “win” the debate.
Viewers pick the networks that align with their political persuasion, digest the talking points, and then regurgitate it all in their own social circles. While it might feel good to listen to others with whom we agree, what are we really accomplishing? How much harm are these political programs causing society, as they whip up emotions and vilify those with whom they disagree?
If you want to live the best life ever, consider an alternative to the mindless chatter on television. I prefer reading books and online publications, from reputable sources on both sides of the political fence.
Consider the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Accept their political bias, digest the headlines from both, and then formulate your own views. In an hour, you can educate yourself a great deal, instead of listening to mindless debates on television.
“The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.” -Rene Descartes
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Focused reading, even for half an hour, can educate you on the day’s news and developments, and leave far more time for important things like exercise, family and your passions. In this way, you can move closer to living the best life ever.
Television and surfing the Internet can provide easy entertainment when you want to unwind and relax, but they can also become rabbit holes of distraction. Social media is intentionally designed to keep you there, scrolling and engaging. Social media companies have made us their commodity, selling our attention to online advertisers.
The key is to become more aware of your television and laptop habits and learn to prioritize your time better. Do you really need to listen to personalities interrupt and one-up each other on those news programs, or could you be spending that time with your spouse, significant other or children?
Imagine going outside to play with your daughter instead of vegging out on Facebook. Or taking a walk with your wife instead of listening to all that shouting on Fox and CNN?
Time is the most precious thing we have, and it’s finite. How we choose to spend it defines who we are, and who we will become. Choose wisely if you want to live the best life ever.
When autumn darkness falls
People are going to hurt your feelings. It’s an inevitable part of life. Sometimes they hurt you intentionally, other times by accident. When we’re younger, we often lack the courage to confront the person who wounded us. Hopefully, with age and maturity, we become more self-assured. We are better able to protect ourselves, and call people on their negative comments and actions.
In my law enforcement career, one of the most important qualities I looked for in new recruits was emotional maturity. I wanted people who could take responsibility for their mistakes, rise above petty gossip, and have the courage to “grab the bull by the horns” and deal with detractors directly.
When someone talks about you behind your back, and you find out, what do you do? Do you run around gossiping about that person, or do you go directly to them and hash it out? Doing the later is the mature thing to do. Even if the other person doesn’t change their ways, you have the satisfaction of having taken the moral high ground. Others will recognize that you’re a straight shooter, and they’ll respect you for it.
Two other important qualities I looked for in job applicants were kindness and forgiveness. Such qualities reflect depth in a person. They show that the person can be empathetic, and see the world through another’s eyes. Kindness is probably the single most important quality to look for in a significant other.
“When autumn darkness falls, what we will remember are the small acts of kindness: a cake, a hug, an invitation to talk, and every single rose. These are all expressions of a nation coming together and caring about its people.” -Jens Stoltenberg
Kindness means taking the time to acknowledge others and ask them how they are doing. Taking the time to do this uplifts your spirit, and will brighten the other person’s day.
My father taught me when I was a boy to treat people charitably. Especially when you have the upper hand or win an argument. “Always give the other person an out,” Dad would say. In order words, acknowledge their point. Give them their dignity.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself and the one who has wronged you. Forgiveness does not mean you excuse the hurtful actions of another, but that you refuse to treat them similarly. Instead, you rise above it. You help show them a better way. Doing so releases the destructive anger inside you. You feel lighter and free from the hurt and negative emotions.
“Maturity: Be able to stick with a job until it is finished. Be able to bear an injustice without having to get even. Be able to carry money without spending it. Do your duty without being supervised.”-Ann Landers
Justified anger can still harm your health if you hang onto it. Yes, some people can channel anger to achieve goals. But left unchecked, anger can destroy your health. If you want to live the best life ever, focus on emotional maturity, kindness and forgiveness.
Results may vary
Next to death and taxes, another one of life’s certainties seems to be snake oil salesmen. Back in the cowboy days, there were traveling shysters who sold various nostrums and “remedies” for every kind of ailment. Fast forward to today, and television abounds with all manner of supplements and devices claiming to solve your pain, wrinkles or financial problems. Of course, if you could read the small print in the nano-second it flashes across your screen, you’d see lines like “Not approved by the FDA” and “Results may vary.”
Be wary of anyone selling something that seems too good to be true. If there’s a time limit attached to it, countdowns or “limited supplies,” be equally wary. These are marketing ploys to create false urgency.
Always do your homework. Just about anything today can be researched. There are impartial reviews you can read. Also, think twice about super low prices. Yes, sometimes there are good deals out there, but most often you have to pay for quality. Better to pay more for a high-quality item that will last over a cheap knock off.
Don’t get taken by today’s snake oil salesmen. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Good looks and fitness require exercise and hard work, not a magic pill. You don’t solve your money problems by endlessly borrowing at high-interest rates. Rather, you reduce your consumption and attain skills to attract better-paying jobs. Do these things, and you won’t get taken by swindlers and move closer to living the best life ever.
Develop productive persistence
Michelangelo is probably one of mankind’s greatest artists. He exerted tremendous influence on the development of western art. Perhaps his only equal was that other high renaissance genius, Leonardo da Vinci.
Another renaissance master was Sofonisba Anguissola. She was best known for her portraiture, and one of the first women artists to establish an international reputation. She even received encouragement from Michelangelo, who sent her a drawing that she copied and sent back to him.
We think of these artists today as creative giants, but they were entirely human. They suffered the same challenges and indignities in life that we do today. Beyond innate talent, the greatest quality these renaissance artists shared was productive persistence. They didn’t just chip away at their work, mindlessly, day after day. They made sure they were learning and improving. They studied other famous artists. They worked hard at their craft every day. They were persistent but made sure the work they were doing was productive.
Consider Sofonisba Anguissola. When Michelangelo encouraged her by sending one of his drawings, she did more than simply admire the drawing. She copied it, thereby learning a great deal about Michelangelo’s technique. Then, she sent Michelangelo her copy, which showed him how serious she was about learning.
If you want to live the best life ever, you need to develop productive persistence in your work and passions. Doing the same thing over and over again only makes sense if it’s productive. If whatever you’re doing is not working, figure out why and correct it. No doubt that’s what Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and Sofonisba Anguissola did. And look where it got them!
Comparison is the thief of joy
We can get so focused on our goals in life that we forget to take stock of all we have. Like our health, family, friends, passions and general well-being. If you want to have the best life ever, make time for gratitude. Learn to give thanks for all that you have. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else, and be thankful for the blessings you have.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
I often include the below cartoon of myself at the bottom of my published articles, because I’m grateful for all of you who take the time to read my work. I don’t take it for granted. The Internet is a crowded place, and readers have millions of choices.
It’s only human to complain about all the things not going right in our lives. But if you think about it, often there’s far more going right than wrong in our lives. We take our health for granted. And our loved ones. For those few times that our car won’t start or our flight is canceled, most of the time these things work flawlessly.
Making time for gratitude can lift your spirit, reorient your thinking, and contribute to your best life ever.
Level the playing field
Life can be a competitive game. Lots of people are vying for the same job. Opportunities are limited, and competition can be fierce. To stand out from the crowd, you need to develop rare and valuable skills. Those who invest in their education and personal development will become more competitive.
If you want to level the playing field (or even better, stand out from the rest), you don’t do it by attacking the competition or trying to disable them underhandedly. You might get away with that strategy a few times, but soon your reputation will precede you. You’ll become known as that person who attacks others rather than building your own abilities and skills.
I remember sitting on police oral boards for promotional exams. Sometimes we’d ask a candidate why they’re better than the others. The smart ones never put down their competitors. They’d say things like, “My competitors are all accomplished individuals. I believe what sets me apart are the following accomplishments.”
Don’t try to level the playing field by attacking others. Chose a more elegant route. Focus on honing your skills. Become the best at what you do. Stand out for your work ethic, professionalism, and skillsets. In this way, you’re more likely to succeed and enjoy the best life ever.
Renounce all superficiality
We all have our egos. Each of us wants to look our best. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy desire to stay fit and look good. The problem is that society today (at least in the United States) is overly fixated on youth and beauty. The ubiquitous nature of media means that we’re surrounded by images of beautiful people and photoshopped models.
Young people develop an unreasonable perception of what beauty should be. Millions of dollars are spent on beauty products and cosmetic procedures. While there’s nothing wrong with taking steps to look your best, some people take it too far. No matter how much they try to improve their perceived looks, it’s never enough. Perhaps because their true unhappiness comes from deep within.
“You must renounce all superficiality, all convention, all vanity and delusion.” -Gustav Mahler
A healthy diet, regular exercise, and stress management can go a long way towards looking your best. Yes, some of us need professional help for various conditions. The key here is to not get carried away at the expense of your whole self.
Some folks are slaves to the gym and adopt near-starvation diets, but they do little or nothing to exercise and develop their minds.
Me at the gym with my trainer. I much prefer reading in my office!
Do yourself a favor and invest as much time reading and developing your mind as you do working on those perfect abs.
Quality exercise is important if you want to age well and have the best life ever. But developing your interior life is equally important. You won’t be able to hang onto your youthful looks forever.
My home library is one of my favorite places to be.
Don’t rely on physical appearance alone to define your happiness. An enriched mind will serve you long after those abs have faded and your body starts to break down. Feed your mind with good books. Introduce yourself to the great minds of the past, and let them challenge your thinking and views about life.
You can’t possibly experience everything in your lifetime firsthand, but through books, you can experience what others have seen and done. This will expand your intellect, and help you live the best life ever.
The supreme excellence
Take the time to consider your living habits. Are you organized, or has clutter and disorder taken over your life? One approach worth considering is minimalism. Most of us need a lot less stuff than we think we do. As my father used to say, “Do we own our things or do our things own us?”
Author Joshua Becker provides an excellent definition for his view of minimalism:
“Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it.”
A few years back I discovered minimalism and it changed the way I live. Like most people, I used to have a garage full of stuff I didn’t need. Ditto for my closet. Then I started to scale things back.
I simplified my wardrobe into basic colors that go together interchangeably. I bought quick-drying underwear and socks, thus reducing my luggage to one backpack when traveling overseas.
“In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I digitized old photos and sold or donated the stuff I didn’t need. As Joshua Becker has said, “Owning less is better than organizing more.” Not to mention the money I save by refusing to buy a bunch of stuff I don’t need.
Being a minimalist doesn’t mean you can’t own nice things. If anything, I prefer to buy high-quality items that last versus cheap stuff that falls apart. I’m not encouraging you to embrace a monastic life, just a less cluttered one.
One of the happiest men I ever met was a homeless man my father helped out. His name was Ted Strollo and he used to live in a cabin in the woods. He made his own acorn coffee. He had very little but was happier than many of the “well-to-do” people my parents knew. Probably because he had a simple life.
By simplifying your life, decluttering and embracing more of a minimalist mindset you’ll enjoy more freedom and save more money. Doing so will bring you peace of mind, and help you live the best life ever.
Strive to enjoy the process
Apart from your health and loved ones, your passions are gifts that can sustain you your whole life. For me, my writing and artwork provide endless joy. Not that it’s always easy. Sometimes I hit creative blocks, and I’m seldom completely satisfied with what I create. But the ongoing challenge and pleasure of my creative work is an unending source of satisfaction.
A perfect day for me is painting in my studio while listening to peaceful piano and violin music. It seems to soothe my soul. I don’t worry about whether the art I produce will generate income for me. Rather, I simply strive to enjoy the process. When I do this, I usually produce my best work.
It’s not that I dislike rock-n’-roll and other types of music, but sometimes I need quiet, calming sounds and rhythms. They seem to create a tranquil state in me that invites deeper creative expression than, say, the caterwauling in some raucous rock songs
The point is, whatever passion brings you consistent joy, make time for it in your life. Don’t spread yourself so thin that you fail to pursue the passion that renews your spirit.
For some, it might be painting. For others, it might be gardening.
Some people’s passion happens to be the way they make their living. I remember reading about a violin maker who thinks he won the lottery because every day he gets to do exactly what he loves.
Doing what you love for a living can be a blessing, but it can also become a curse. I have met some artists who say their joy of painting suffered because of the business side. They found themselves painting pictures that sold in the galleries rather than painting what they really wanted to. They hated all the travel, framing, shipping, shows, etc.
You can find similar tales from people in the music and film industry who say it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. As the actor Jim Carrey once said:
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so the can see that it’s not the answer.”
Will you take action?
There is no lack of advice out there for how to live the best life ever. No matter how much you read, or how many cartoons you look at, in the end it all comes down to you. Will you take action, or fall back into predictable patterns?
There’s plenty of knowledge and wisdom out there for you to drink from. Don’t be like some folks and just gargle. Drink it all in. Learn. And most importantly, take action.
You can drastically change your life, day by day. Adopt the tips and advice in this article, get disciplined, be consistent, and before you know it you’ll be living the best life ever!
Before you go
I’m John P. Weiss. I draw cartoons, paint and write about life.
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Previously published on “Personal Growth”, a Medium publication.
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Artwork by John P. Weiss