Getting back with your ex was never easy from the beginning to the end. Let me make a sad joke: This matter itself is quite difficult, so it is difficult to say what is the most difficult, and there is nothing in the whole process that is simple.
When reuniting with an ex, what are the difficult situations we all face, and what makes so many people, even if they miss their ex so much, become discouraged when they realize that it takes so much to get them back? The following rankings are in no particular order:
Determine whether it is because of emptiness and loneliness, or whether you really can’t let go of the past
People who want to get back with their ex because of emptiness and loneliness, their core appeal is not to “get back” at all, but to find an object, that’s all
So these people simply have no way to calm down and make changes and sacrifices. They are the ones who easily give up halfway.
We always beautify ourselves inadvertently, we are not as affectionate as we think — if you are not sure about your state, it is too simple: you have exposed so many problems in your relationship before, you can catch one thing, Don’t care if you want to get back with the other party or not, you first insist on changing for half a month and try it out.
For example, when you broke up because you were not motivated and did not have your plans, you should insist on studying or exercising for the first half month to see if you can persevere without a hitch.
Suppress and restrain your impulsive emotions
So as not to let the other person’s impression of you continue to deteriorate.
Even if you regret and feel guilty now, you can’t go to your ex to cry and apologize endlessly. This will only drag the other party into the past that she doesn’t want to recall again.
Even if you are in a hurry to get the other party back to you, you can’t go to the other party to show your loyalty now, because your empty hands and empty promises will only make your ex feel that you are not sincere.
No matter how your mentality collapses, you cannot bring this state into your recovery progress, because you will only further make your ex feel unreliable and dangerous if you are out of control.
Reflect on yourself and make changes
To be honest, although everyone knows about “changing oneself”, it is not so easy to implement it:
You have lived well in the past state for so many years, and now you are asked to reverse the way you have been thinking and behaving for so many years because of a person who has only been with you for a few years. Can you do it?
And objectively speaking: In many cases, there is no right or wrong when two people are separated.
It is just inappropriate. You don’t even need to change yourself much. Find someone more suitable for you. Maybe you can live a good life.
Seriously ask yourself: Am I willing to change myself because of this person? If my ex still thinks he has done nothing wrong, am I willing to make concessions and compromises?
You must know that you didn’t need to do these changes in the first place, so since you have done it, you must be willing to do it, and you can’t kidnap the other party with the fact that “I have done so much for you, you should get back with me.”
In the whole process, you can also be neither humble nor arrogant
If you are too concerned about your gains and losses, and you are always afraid of losing this person, you will involuntarily become humbled in the process of recovery.
You are willing to pay and sacrifice for each other without the bottom line, as long as your ex is willing to keep in touch with you; no matter what your ex says, it is right, and it is your fault to take all the blame…
You think this can show your sincerity, but in fact, it is not conducive to your recovery at all.
Although you want to get back with the other party now, in fact, you are two passers-by in nature, you put yourself in such a low position all of a sudden so that the other party will easily bear a particularly large psychological burden and pressure.
And gradually, that person may be pampered and arrogant by your habit, and feel that he did nothing wrong, and you owe him all.
What’s even more uncomfortable is that if your psychological status has been extremely low, this person is not in a hurry to get back to you.
You have to know: when you go to save the other party, your purpose is not to ask the other party to come back, but to change yourself in a down-to-earth way, and re-attract the other party by being a better you.
For the past things, really can do not mind who is right who is wrong
This matter directly relates to the stability of your relationship after you get back together: although some couples get back together quickly, they have never let go, and some historical issues left over from past relationships have not been resolved.
Once you get back together, you must know that you are starting a new relationship, and you must let go of the past relationship
I know that your ex may have done things to hurt you, but since you are starting anew, you must forget it.
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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