Do you often feel robbed off of your Joy and Happiness? Who do you think the robbers are? Who holds the key to your freedom, happiness, peace or joy — your neighbor/ family/ work staff or the circumstance you find yourself in? Do you wait for your pay check or holiday to be happy? What if the holiday didn’t go as expected? Well, the people or circumstances that you pin your happiness on, may really be important, but do they really hold the key to your happiness?
Reality fails to meet expectations : Sometimes, knowingly or unknowingly we lend the key to our happiness in the hands of ‘others’ or the circumstance we find ourselves in. Till the time, the ‘others’ behave in a desirable way or the results are as expected, we experience exaltation of our happiness but when reality doesn’t even come close to our expectations, we fall prey to our own misery, to the web of our attachment that we have woven around our expectations. Sounds familiar?
Desire to feel powerful : Since we feel the source of our happiness lies outside of us, we combat the undesirable situation by holding the ‘others’ or the situation responsible for our state and completely brush off our own responsibility. This goes to dent not just our relationship with the ‘others’ but has a graver effect on our self-esteem and self-respect because now we become secondary in the situation. Making the other person or the situation primary thus powerful, we lose control over our state of being.
So, where does one get started then?
While you’ve been looking for the key everywhere, because that’s all you could see with open eyes, did you look for the key within you? Yes, you heard me right. The key to your joy and happiness lies within you and you are the master of that key.
YOU are the sole creator of your happiness.
Key 1 — One of the most profound ways to unlock the treasure is by realizing that you are the primary source of your life — “You are the owner of your Life” — That is the most fundamental statement, yet so powerful. Though we have been living with the notion that — this is my life, but when we really awaken to Owning our life, it brings enormous amount of freedom to design our life the way we want and take complete responsibility & accountability for our actions.
It prepares us to face any implications good or bad, success or failure and we remain unstoppable even in face of undesirable results. Being at the helm of what’s happening in your life, we learn new ways to inch our way towards desired results.
Key 2 — Let go of the expectations you’ve been holding on to and embrace each moment, each person just the way they present themselves. Measuring everyone in the Expectation against Reality bar, you leave little space for the relationship to grow. Further, you feel pulled apart when someone doesn’t measure up to expectations. Especially speaking of relationships, not being asked to act in accordance to a particular standard, people in your life experience freedom to express themselves without pretense. Accepting the other person just the way they are goes to strengthen your relationship with that person.
Letting go off expectations and living in the moment also brings a sense of wonderment, exploring life newly each time. You perceive the lowest of lows with the same grace as you would the highest of highs. Even a critical comment by someone no longer leaves you shaken coz you don’t have any expectation of their behavior and it now appears as an opportunity for you to grow. Having chosen to be no longer at the receiving end, you are the genesis of your own creation.
You can make each moment perfect by seizing happiness every time no matter how imperfect it could be. When you excel at the art of extracting happiness in each moment, life only appears as a bed of roses coz now you’re not slave to the situation but you own the moment.
A simple act of owning up our life provides an unthinkable amount of energy making us unstoppable in our actions. Unattached with the results and not bothered by the judgments, we lead a life in pursuit of happiness.
“Happiness is a journey and not a destination. It’s a state of being”.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash