Ken Solin wants boomer men who date younger women to consider whether they’re looking for a partner or an acolyte.
They’re The Bomb
I’m a big fan of boomer women, who I dated exclusively before meeting my extraordinary boomer partner. There were several reasons, not the least of which was the warm familiarity I felt with every boomer woman. And while I relish the sexual connection with my partner, the rest of our time is filled with great conversation, lots of laughs, and mutually enjoyed activities. We also spend time apart pursuing individual interests, i.e. art classes, yoga, dinners with friends, working out, careers, and more.
Boomer women have earned our respect, and men, who insist boomer women are bitter and angry, might consider that sentiment may be connected to their unresolved feelings about an ex. My partner never exhibited a scintilla of anger or bitterness, nor did any of the boomer women I dated before her. My partner is capable, bright, strong-willed, a best friend, and makes love with youthful passion and vigor. We’re in this relationship to prosper and grow together.
We deepen the intimacy in our relationship by remaining openhearted when discussing our issues. I have several best friends, including my partner Sarah. I’d like to debunk the myth that when a man and woman become friends, sex ends. Making love with a woman who’s a best friend is the best sex because it embodies trust. Embracing a boomer woman on every level feels natural. The relationship skills they’ve developed while maintaining lifelong friendships with other women are transferable to relationships with men. And boomer women don’t cut and run at the first sign of trouble.
Boomer guys who pressure boomer women for first date sex lack respect. The notion that a sixty something year old woman woman who protested a war she didn’t have to fight, marched for and won her legal rights, has maintained lifelong friendships, raised our children often as a single mother, and had a career, should be eager to sexually satisfy a complete stranger is incredibly naïve. And that attitude indicates a need to do some personal growth work with other men.
Skyrocketing Divorce Rate
Boomers currently enjoy the dubious distinctions of having the highest divorce and STD rates in America, and recently divorced boomer guys are frequently sex-starved and single-minded. While their sexual hunger is understandable, pressuring women for sex is misguided. It points to a guy focused exclusively on his own needs, a losing dating strategy. And while there are sixty something year old women who engage in casual sex, their numbers are small. If you meet a boomer woman eager to have first date sex, consider that you didn’t necessarily get lucky. Remember the film, Fatal Attraction? Nearly every boomer woman wants an emotional attachment before becoming sexual. The free love movement is over, and with the exception of the music, most of us have gladly moved on from the 60s.
Men’s Groups Work
If you identify as a sex-starved boomer guy, it’s the perfect time to begin talking with other men about your newly single status and sexual needs, because behaving like a caricature of a newly divorced boomer guy isn’t cool. Other men who’ve been in your situation can share their own experiences with you so that you can better understand how to deal with your sexuality in a win/win way with women. If you haven’t had good sex, or any sex in a long while, consider that you’d benefit more from listening to men who have learned how to connect their hearts with their penises than pressuring an unwilling woman into casual sex.
Boomer men might consider whether they’re looking for a partner or an acolyte when they insist that younger women are easier to date. Just because younger women have less real life experience doesn’t necessarily make them easier in any way. And few are looking for an older man to mentor them, so let go of this fantasy. No relationships are easy, no matter the age group, but boomer guys have a better chance with a boomer woman who can hold up her end of a relationship. Isn’t that what every boomer guy wants in a partner?
Ken’s new book, The Boomer Guide to Finding True Love Online will be available January 1st on Amazon.