The sad truth is that millions of men, intentionally or otherwise, neglect their health. They don’t think much about how they eat or how much they exercise, they don’t attend their appointments (if they bother making them at all), and they sometimes downplay potentially very serious issues. Why is this the case? And what can we do about it?
Traditional Masculinity
Around two-thirds of men actively avoid going to the doctor for as long as possible, and more than a third withhold information from their care providers. On some level, this isn’t just a stereotype; men generally neglect their health in a variety of ways. There are several possible explanations for this, many of which are tied to traditional norms of masculinity. In our society, men are expected to embody certain values and exhibit certain characteristics, including:
Independence.
We often expect men to be independent, and sometimes fiercely so. The old, potentially unfair joke is that men will never ask for directions; this is because men prefer to do things their own way. Accordingly, many men will only consult a medical professional if there’s truly no other option, and even then, they may keep things to themselves.
Self-reliance.
Similarly, men are expected to be self-reliant. They want to fix their own problems rather than rely on external support. Instead of receiving medicine, physical therapy, or surgery, men would prefer to fix themselves through rest and natural healing.
Toughness.
Men are expected to be tough as well. For some men, the mere act of going to the doctor means you weren’t able to withstand whatever pain or discomfort you were experiencing, and therefore, you are a coward. Obviously, this is nonsensical, and most men don’t literally think this; instead, this is an ingrained and subconscious habit.
Lack of vulnerability.
We don’t allow men the space to express or show vulnerability, and when they do, we tend to mock them for it. For many men, going to the doctor is an admission of weakness or defeat, and it should, therefore, be an absolute last resort.
Deeper Issues
There are also some deeper issues at play.
Fear.
Some men are afraid of what might happen if they go to the doctor or take care of their persistent health issues, and sometimes irrationally so. For example, LASIK surgery is an extremely safe procedure that has helped millions of people improve their vision almost instantaneously. However, many men would rather experience persistent poor vision than undergo this procedure. This is complicated by the fact that expressing emotions like fear is usually discouraged.
Belief in natural improvement.
Men often believe in the importance of natural or organic development as well. They refuse medications because they don’t understand them or believe that living a primitive lifestyle without technology is somehow superior.
Social stigma and embarrassment.
While the stigma of getting medical attention for physical ailments isn’t as strong as the stigma of seeking mental health support, many men feel embarrassed simply going to the doctor or making appointments. This is especially true when men experience issues they feel sensitive about.
Previous examples.
It doesn’t help that the majority of men have masculine role models and authority figures who express similar disinterest in seeking medical attention. Even in movies, TV shows, and pop culture generally, men are consistently depicted as resisting medical support and healthcare.
Costs.
Healthcare in the United States is ridiculously expensive. Men who pride themselves on financial status and those who don’t have many extra resources to spare may choose to sacrifice their own health to save money.
What We Can Do
So, what can we do about this problem? It’s incredibly difficult to make societal-scale changes as individuals, but there are some ways that you can nudge our culture in the right direction.
Be the better example.
Be a shining example of healthier masculinity in your life. If you’re a man and you’re concerned about a physical health problem, go see a doctor. Even better, tell people that you’re doing it; you don’t have to disclose the exact reason if you’re not comfortable doing so. If the male friends in your life know that you routinely seek medical care, they may be more likely to do so in their own lives.
Express what you’re feeling.
Even more importantly, you should regularly express what you’re feeling. If you’re nervous about going to the doctor, say so. If you’re embarrassed about a problem, express that. This is healthy and will make you feel better.
Ask thoughtful questions.
If there’s a man in your life who seems to be struggling with an ailment or complication, ask thoughtful questions. How does this make you feel? Would you feel better if it was fully healed? Do you think that a medical professional would be able to offer more insights?
Provide non-judgmental, non-adversarial support.
It’s also important to provide support that is non-judgmental and non-adversarial. Being reluctant to see a doctor and being averse to vulnerability doesn’t make you a bad person, and it’s also not necessarily a “wrong” way to live your life. If you become an antagonist in any way, men will likely either stop listening to you or fight back harder.
Offer to make (and attend) appointments.
Make it easy for the men in your life. Offer to make appointments for them and attend appointments with them if it would make them feel more comfortable. It’s one of the best ways you can offer support; even if they don’t take you up on this offer, they may appreciate hearing it.
It’s unlikely that men will generally feel good about visiting the doctor or seeking medical care anytime soon. However, if we work to better understand the root causes of this problem and we collaborate to change our culture, we may be able to overcome it.
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