I’m sincerely and genuinely sorry so many women have to put up with evil online stalking and abuse from angry so-called men’s rights activists. The degree to which I, a man, can raise the same issues that feminist women raise and receive dramatically less heat from MRA’s and other masculinity extremists, speaks volumes.
For MRAs, incels, male supremacists, it’s really not about the issues being raised (male suicide, etc) it’s about their own compulsion to bully, abuse, and attack women both online and in the real world. The misogynist tail is literally wagging the political dog for these men.
MRAs seek out and align with politics that allow them to attack women. The men’s issues they purport to care about are selected exclusively to weaponize their compulsion to attack women. Which is why MRA’s don’t do anything substantive to improve men’s psychological or economic well-being. They can’t.
The fact is, you can’t hold an anti-women position and also do healthy masculinity work. You can’t do the crucial self-reflection men need to do while externalizing all of your issues, blaming women. The two processes are mutually exclusive. This obstruction of self-reflection in authoritarian movements exists by design. It’s why MRA‘s can’t heal their trauma. Extremists want to keep them in attack mode.
Until a man is willing to let go of blaming women and instead take a long hard look at our own trauma, disconnection, and anxiety born out of lifetimes in our bullying Man Box culture of masculinity, we will never find peace. We have to come to terms with our own wounding, isolation and grief. For far too many of us, it’s a lot easier to blame women than to take on that difficult and painful work.;
But know, there are men waiting to help us do this work. Men who care deeply about our journey to healthy connecting masculinity are ready to help.
If you or someone you love is ready to do begin healthy masculinity work, I recommend men’s work with organizations like The Mankind Project or seeking out a therapist who understands men’s issues, finding a coach, podcasts, books.
Ready to break out of our isolating and bullying Man Box culture? Today is a wonderful day to begin.
Our books, podcast, videos and other healthy masculinity resources are here: https://linktr.ee/remakingmanhood.
Previously Published on Medium
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Ah the MRA men have become a barrier for all of us men to find a non-toxic masculinity? I understand. And while I think your point and perspective, Do you have any *similar* thoughts about Father’s Rights Activists? Men have demonstrated how toxic and misogynistic we can be. The family court system, on the other hand, has shown how (in Texas for example, women get the custodial parent role and child support in 85% of the divorces) men are still seen as primarily breadwinners and women are the primary caregiver. The old saw is that men need the extra time… Read more »