Jason Pockrandt stepped into fatherhood by stepping back, at least for now, from entrepreneurship.
___
When family grows from two to three, chasing your dream takes on an entirely new perspective. Now its time to gauge what your true risk aversion looks like. It is now time to re-evaluate what chasing your dream means. With respect and understanding you now have another mouth to feed and another life to protect. It is time to put our risk aversion back in check. It is time to know our selves and our values. For you it may be different; for me however, it is and has always been security.
Jon Acuff wrote the book on it. “Bridging the gap between your day job and your dream job.” It’s not jump in both feet and hope for the best. Jon knew what to teach the rest of us. We are husbands. We are providers of the household. For many of us we have children. It is not our place to be too impatient to build the dream when we have a family on the way.
I learned this lesson the hard way. After I made the choice.
Going all in isn’t always the smartest move.
I don’t regret it since I never would have learned the lesson unless I took the action. I’ll tell you how it went down.
Then all of a sudden I decided it was time to do the life coach and speaker thing—full time. So I quit my job, and that’s what I did …
|
It was around mid-April when I was last working my full time job at Target. Things were starting to get a little tough. I was starting to be a little impatient trying to chase a dream, trying to build a coaching business that wasn’t working as fast as I wanted. I decided it was time to bridge the gap. Then all of a sudden I decided it was time to do the life coach and speaker thing—full time. So I quit my job, and that’s what I did …
Two months later my wife and I find out we’re pregnant. We realized the biggest goal of our lives we have been striving for was now coming to fruition. I didn’t know what to think. My initial response was, Oh. (Scared) I’m going to be a dad???
Suddenly the choices I had made became all too surreal.
I had just walked away!
I thought I was doing right by going all in on my dreams. I didn’t take time to measure my risk aversion or to accept my own values. I didn’t realize at the time what I instinctively knew about myself. Security is a major value of the golden retriever I am. I am steady and amiable. I like to take things slowly.
What had I just done?
I left my job to go and chase my dream to go all in as a full-time speaker and coach! I may have had full time dreams but I lacked full time clients. Although I did start the journey of a deeper self-discovery and a lot more lessons to be learned after making the jump. And there was value in that.
I realized one major lesson the day I found out I was truly having a child.
It is critical to know your risk aversion level.
For myself, my major value has always been security. As much as I have the urge to be the over night success with the desire to build the dream, I realize that I’m naturally hardwired to relax, to be calm, to be cool, to be steady.
|
When chasing a dream with your family it is crucial that you always know your values. Know what you are risking and what you’re not willing to risk. Know when to measure the two.
For myself, my major value has always been security. As much as I have the urge to be the over night success with the desire to build the dream, I realize that I’m naturally hardwired to relax, to be calm, to be cool, to be steady.
I’m ok with that.
I don’t have to prove that I’m someone I’m not.
There are times when you have to play it safe and keep things going enough to give yourself reassurance that your security is being met, to keep food on the table, keep your wife happy, understand you have another mouth to feed.
For others it works perfectly to go all in. They work hard, kick ass, and build their dreams faster. For myself and other closet creatives like me, we like to build it slowly one brick at a time, with the perspective of choosing happiness for the jobs that we have been given.
I was missing the truth that choosing your perspective and loving everything you do is what allows you to move to the next level of your dreams.
Praising the beauty in what we have continues to move us higher and higher. We cherish the learning and remember we need food on the table and clothes on our kids back, never forgetting that the jobs allow us the opportunity to do all the things that we love.
Have you been how I was lately? Feeling like you’re missing too much, a little upset because it’s not here fast enough? If you have, please stop and consider the things that you have. Begin to learn the lesson and realize that what you once had wasn’t all that bad. It might not be time to let it go … just yet.
Here’s something my coach recently taught me, which helped me put this entire perspective in place, sooner was:
Things we often don’t want to hear are the things we need to hear sooner.
What I needed to hear most for myself and I didn’t want to hear was what my values really are. I didn’t want to hear and accept what I knew to be true.
I have a child on the way!
The last job I had, as much as I may not have liked it, allowed me the opportunity to become a father, to become the man searching for a house, to be the guy with a day job who spends time with his friends and time with his wife.
|
The last job I had, as much as I may not have liked it, allowed me the opportunity to become a father, to become the man searching for a house, to be the guy with a day job who spends time with his friends and time with his wife.
I didn’t realize for quite some time nor want to accept the reality behind what I’m about to tell you:
You only have two choices in everything you do. You can either hate it for what it takes away from you or praise it for everything it allows you the opportunity to do. The choice is yours to make.
The next time things get tough and you want to go all in, stop and realize your perspective is yours. While what you have may not seem the most appealing, it may be the one thing that’s getting you closer to your dream, though you may not realize it at the time. Your job may be a stepping-stone that’s getting you to the next level.
Know in your heart that the next level may not always be directly related to your dream. It may not be the next speaking gig or your next coaching client. It may just be the extra money that allows you the freedom to be the coach, the freedom to travel with friends, the freedom to be with your family, buy a house, be a husband, and most exciting of all, to become a Father.
Always remember when you want to go all in to respect the truth that now you’re on a different level. You are the man of the home with a wife and now a child.
Now may just not be the time to go all in.
When was the last time you went all in and wished you could go back and build the bridge instead? How would it have been better if you had waited ?
Photo—Rietje Swart/Flickr