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Ever since our dear friend told us about this idea, I have been formulating my ideas. I’ve written about you, and to the future you, but I have never written you a love letter, so here it is…
You really needed a love letter from me about 35 years ago, but I didn’t know how to write one, and I don’t think I could have. You were 11 years old, and only knew a little about what love was, when an acquaintance shattered your innocence and all your ideas about trust, love and sex. You had no one to talk to, you were too afraid and ashamed, and friends your age didn’t understand and didn’t know how to help. I wish I could have helped you more through those years, but I was learning as well. You had no confidence, were shy and withdrawn, and have been an emotional eater ever since.
I finally started to show up for you at about age 16. That’s when you had grown in your spiritual faith, and learned to reach out to family. It still took 2 more years for you to seek professional help, and start the healing process, but I’m proud of you for doing what you could, when you could! Little by little through your teens, you started to come out of your shell, and be yourself. I wish you had not been afraid and ashamed, and had the confidence to do all those things before high school though. Your daughter is already confident, like you never were, and you should be so proud of that! She shines with light and confidence because of the lessons you have taught her about loving yourself! You have empowered her, and I hope she will empower others!
In college, you yearned for a fresh start, but depression took hold and you failed all your classes. Thankfully you continued to seek professional counseling, to learn how to cope better. Again, you kept trying to push forward, change and heal.
One of the best things to come out of this life event, is that you helped your niece who had a similar experience. Just by speaking up, and being open and honest, you connected with her, and you were able to help her down her path to mental health recovery. For several years, you kept telling her to seek counseling that it really helps, that you understood where she was coming from… until she finally started seeing a counselor. You have watched her have her ups and downs, but now she works in the mental health profession helping others! It’s her passion and what drives her life. That is because of YOU! You did that, you helped someone you love not feel alone, feel like there was a way out of the black hole. Own it and praise yourself and thank God for giving you the courage to help her!
I’m so proud of you for following your religion faithfully, in a world where faith is looked at as weak and simple minded. You took the opportunity to be a missionary in Hong Kong for 18 months, where you met amazing people, and provided service and help to them by sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. You learned the Cantonese language! What!?!? You are awesome! You learned better interpersonal communication and organizational skills, by living with different people and personalities, and by following a regular schedule. You grew and changed so much from this incredible experience!
All these events led you back home where you worked for a couple of years before meeting your wonderful husband. At this point I should have been telling you I loved you! I knew it, and felt it, I just wasn’t ready to say yet I guess. You were still a little raw and unmolded, but as the years passed you learned to deal with your adversities as they came along. Each one has forged you with a fire that has made you stronger!!!!
Struggling through infertility for 8 years, until your beautiful light of a daughter arrived. Mental health issues resurfacing in the form of anxiety attacks. Gaining weight, losing weight, gaining it back. Family deaths. Marriage struggles. I watched it all, and through each trial, you have grown and blossomed. You didn’t need to be anxious about being a mother like you’re misfiring brain was telling you! You were and are a good mother! As for mental health, hey that’s what drugs and counseling are for.
I’m proud of you for just learning to accept episodes as they come, and know that they will happen, but still remembering there is always a light at the end no matter how horrible your brain tells you it feels. Weight, ugh! You finally learned to accept and love yourself whether you are big or small. I love how you can look in a mirror and know that you are beautiful, inside and out! You have matured and learned life lessons as you’ve watched family members face difficulties, and mourned for those who departed. You have loved, struggled, ached and experienced the ups and down that go with marriage for almost 22 years now. That is no small accomplishment!
You still have a long way to go, and SO much to learn, but I love you for who you are and the hard work you have put in to become such a great person. With the help of God, your loving family and your amazing friends you have gathered all over the world, you will become an even more incredible person! Keep working, learning and growing, and help others around you to do the same! And never forget how much I love you and how amazing you are!
Love, Me
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Photo Credit: Getty Images