A few years ago, I decided that after the chaos of the holiday season, I’d make the time to take a short vacation. After some thought, the tradition developed into the idea that as long as my NFL team isn’t playing in the Super Bowl, that weekend would designated as “me” time.
This year, I went home to Florida to visit with a few family members I hadn’t seen in awhile. I also found a cheap day-trip to the Bahamas and went with a friend. Recharging was the goal and I made sure to stay present in all the activities that I chose to do.
Upon returning, I got an alert from the Mint app – essentially chastising me for already being close to my budget for the entire month. Part of me wanted to feel guilty. On the flight home, thoughts wandered to what I could’ve done with the money. Regret was short-lived though. My mind needed a break from the rigors of life. The time was right to reward myself for the hard work that I do to acquire the things that I have. In short, I was being kind to myself because I deserved it.
Have you ever gone back and forth mentally about if you should really splurge on that steak dinner? Have you had to rationalize buying another pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on, knowing they’re too expensive even on sale? Self-care in and of itself has become one of those buzzwords that people use to ease their insecurities over spending money; sometimes money that they can’t afford to part with. What I’ve come to understand is that self-care is not about money at all. It’s about doing something, anything, that allows your mind and body to rest.
Men practicing self-care can come in many forms. It can be hanging out with friends, working out in the gym, pursuing creative hobbies, or traveling. I try to diversify my self-care so that I don’t feel like I’m deprived. Here are just some tips if you’re trying to find a self-care blueprint that helps you relax but won’t hurt your wallet.
- Don’t follow trends. Remember when adult coloring books were all the rage? You can find them in any craft store and even at Target. Because I’m a sneaker head, I found a cool coloring book for Nike Air Jordans. I spent about $30 on an activity that was scientifically proven to help ease anxiety and was generally a stress reliever after a rough day. I’ve colored exactly 5 pages in 2 years. Using the vulnerability of millions of people, there are hundreds of costly trends out there intended to be a method of self-soothing. But unless you’re truly a fan of the activity or product, avoid the ploy.
- Self-care doesn’t mean being alone. While the word implies one thing, there are a lot of people who get their fulfillment from being around others. Deciding to be more social was a goal of mine this year. Part of my monthly routine to meet that goal is to have dinner and drinks with friends. This is tough as most of them are married. But we have amazing conversations. I always leave them feeling inspired and more connected. Human connection can be a huge component to maintaining a healthy sense of self.
- Don’t worry about FOMO. Sharing ideals about this subject is a passion because men should make taking care of our complete selves a priority. Like anything else, though, there is no one size fits all. Social media gives us the constant feeling that we’re missing out because we can’t spend money the way others do. If you can’t afford a trip, plan a weekend at home where everyone knows you’re unavailable and put your phone on DND. If you have the urge to buy new clothes, look through your closet and see if there are ways you can re-purpose what you have. And if you feel the need to spend money on something, set a realistic, actionable plan that’ll make it possible without strain.
Maybe none of us are rich or even financially independent enough to do whatever we want when we want. Nonetheless, your mental and emotional well being should always be at the forefront. It doesn’t matter what tax bracket you’re in: just know that self-care is about doing the things that are centered on rejuvenation. That process rarely has to cost you money.
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