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My grandfather was a compassionate man and I was raised with him as my role model. I am also his namesake and he had no sons. In the name of modern men fighting not to live inside of the historical man box, I stand proudly in my journey to be an aware, conscious and a compassionate man.
My grandfather was an acapella gospel music teach and a deeply religious man. I have my own brand of spirituality, but my foundation is built from his beginnings and his quest for being a loving and healing man for the planet. I want to be able to walk the roads of this planet in an echo of his footsteps, within the truth and vision of my own story. I want to leave a positive footprint on this planet as a modern man.
My grandfather valued the grace and story of our human society and the pathway to healing. He was a highly Christian man, but he was open to all pathways to find a sense of sacredness that could be found in everyday human life. He showed me how to have a strong sense of tradition and also be an open, accepting human being. He taught me how to go within when emotionally and spiritually challenged. He taught how to be responsible for my own actions. I did not always walk the pathway of the solution my entire life, but the foundation was always there. It was a home I knew to come home to.
Because of my background of being taught how to be a man of love, I became a Man of Love.
As a black, gay father, artist and political visionary, I have had a human story of resistance to my personal validity within the society. It at first caused me to be resistant and angry to the treatment I received from the society I was attempting to succeed within, looking for a sacred place of compassion.
Remembering the steps I saw my grandfather walk, I slowly began to release the personal anger and embraces the ways of love and compassion as important tools of life. I had to learn acceptance of life within life’s terms and look at the solution, the methods of walking and talking internal peace which could translate itself into societal peace. I finally realized personal anger undirected only became useless power thrown into the atmosphere of the planet and did nothing to change the problem. I finally remembered who I was and what I had been taught by my grandfather.
I was always in conflict whether I should be the typical conquering man or the compassionate man of peace and love. I knew I needed to find a place of safe alignment and balance.
I always wanted respect for being a man, but growing up I did not always feel respected. I felt so many time my sense of being peaceful and loving was a weakness rather than a trait of powerful strength. I say the typical macho man getting more traction and respect and I felt so many times like a soft, wimp because of the dominant society’s view of manhood. I wanted out of the historical manbox.
It was not until I learn to listen to the truth of my journey as a man and father and my practice or be a man of worth, a man who brought healing to our society, did I see the significance of my placement of helping to heal the society as a whole. It was a chance to assist the process of healing myself to become strong enough to become an efficient facilitator of personal and societal change.
Martin Luther King, Jr, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela were compassionate men and my personal heroes, as well as James Baldwin, Truman Capote, I learned strength and a strong sense of dedication and how to be a supportive driver of world change. I learn to understand the strength of their courage and dedication. I learned to honor my vision of being a game changer for the higher good of our society. I also learned to accept my humanness and my sometimes acts of failure. These failures became stepping stones to greater and deeper awareness.
I gained a greater understanding of the importance of the human story and where I personally could fit as a man of change and vision within the universal story. I learned to value my own personal story and the importance of my voice within the society. Being a man of compassion could only help to bring understanding and wisdom to the world, which helps to create peace. It taught me how to assert my right to make mistakes and be imperfect. It taught me the patience to reconstruct my renewed pathway to solution and peace. It taught me how to accept the problems of the world and not to take them so personally, but see them as issues with possible solutions. He taught how to reach out to another to ask for assistance or ask for a joining of mutual sourcing.
Being a man of compassion taught me how to join the human pack and lead with unity, to know when to follow and how to be the essence of unity needed to succeed as a community. I have learned to listen, rather than to be always speaking. I have learned to think of the whole society, rather than my just my personal sense of gaining power. I have found power in the unity and in the healing of the community by my dedicated participation.
I have found a wonderful sense of power from learning how to empower others. I become stronger by helping others to be strong. I don’t take power, I give power. I think it all helps to make it a better world for all of us. We all have voices that need to be empowered. I have learned to share power.
I have learned how to be a better father, friend, lover, neighbor, and person. I can now be present and available to assist in creating positive change in everyday life. I have learned to turn my anger and disappointment in the society into steps of solution for the society. I have truly become a man of love.
These are some of the lessons in life I have learned while living almost seventy years as a compassionate man. I am an elder and I want to pass the wisdom.
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Photo by J’Waye Covington on Unsplash