Guys. Guys, look at this quote from Edward Conrad, Mitt Romney’s extremely wealthy former partner.
“God didn’t create the universe so that talented people would be happy,” he said. “It’s not beautiful. It’s hard work. It’s responsibility and deadlines, working till 11 o’clock at night when you want to watch your baby and be with your wife. It’s not serenity and beauty.”
Isn’t that just the Success Myth in five sentences?
Conrad is rich. So rich that my brain has literally run out of ways to spend the amount of money he has beyond charitable donations. You would think that, once you’d acquired your first few billions, you’d start prioritizing your own happiness. Write poetry! Get two or three PhDs! Hang out on the beach smoking pot! Come up with the world’s most awesome cosplay! Watch your child grow up! Whatever.
Not Conrad. For him, all of that gets sacrificed to make another billion or two.
And it’s clearly not that he loves his job. I know people who love their jobs. They complain, of course, as everyone does, but they don’t talk about sacrificing their happiness for their job, or about how talented people weren’t meant to be happy. Their job makes them happy. If no one was paying them, they’d work for free. For Conrad, if no one was paying him, he’d find out what he could make billions at and then do it.
I just find this whole business tremendously sad. The purpose of life is to be happy and to make other people happy, not to live up to some bullshit ideal of “success” that contributes little to society and doesn’t actually make you more fulfilled. Sure, you’re a “winner.” You have the highest number in your bank account! Yay! I hope that comforts you for your empty life!
It doesn’t matter if you’re a success or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re an “art-history major” (Conrad’s favorite term of derision, apparently) or if you drink coffee at 2:30 in the afternoon while college-educated. Many art historians majors love their jobs! Getting a cup of coffee at 2:3o in the afternoon is an excellent life choice for many people, including people who work from home, unemployed people, graveyard shift workers, people who work weekends and have Tuesday off, people who need a break from work to clear their heads and come up with better ideas, and people who just really like coffee!
To be perfectly clear: I have no problem with workaholics. I don’t have any problem with private equity firms, I don’t think, since I’m not particularly clear on what they are or what they do. I have a problem with the expectation that men should concentrate on making as much money as humanly can, without regard to their happiness, their families, or anything else. Virtue does not depend on how much money you make. There is no requirement to justify your existence by “making something of yourself” and “fulfilling your potential” by making fucktons of money. Happiness is enough.
I love this. 🙂
Before I go any further, I would like to make it clear that I don’t live by Mr. Conrad’s statement. As long as I have certain things (that is, a stable relationship, a clean house, plenty of food), I’m not only happy but also content that I’ve done exactly what I need to be doing as a human being (though I also feel I should contribute to society and discourse in some way in order to be happy). That’s not the way Mr. Conrad views things. He thinks the whole point of life is to be unhappy. Teddy Roosevelt was… Read more »
Mr. Conrad’s messaage is a tangled-up mess of manly denial, work ethic, prosperity gospel and status quo.
All I get out of it is, “if it feels bad, do it.” Which is just as lousy a philosophy of life as “if it feels good, do it.”
I think it’s worse. It certainly leads to less feeling good!
+1 to Yiab’s note about purpose being what you make it. Some (many?) people decide that emotional happiness waxes and wanes too much to be a real objective.
It’s “clean” to see Conrad’s lifestyle as a swap of financial goals for family goals. I think it’s more like a religious or dietary commitment; you know what’s possible outside that arena and acknowledge its upsides (seeing wife and kids more), yet choose to focus on different things.
Maybe he’s on to something when he says that talented people shouldn’t be happy. Perhaps not people who are talented at manipulating abstract financial instruments to minimize their own risks while heaping them on others, but other talented people. Let’s say that you were the world’s best cancer researcher and you had useful insights that nobody else could replicate. If you think there is a common good or a debt that we all owe to society, does it make sense to withhold your genius from where it could do good so you could kick back with a lemonade instead? After… Read more »
Rhubarb – In the sciences, you need to both love it *and* have an obligation. Typical faculty workweeks are around 80 hours, and that’s after a decade and a half of poorly-paid trainee positions and literally 1000:1 odds of getting a job. I often say it’s harder to become a research scientist than a pro athlete, both in terms of odds and work, and I doubt I’m off by much. Even with both love and obligation, the vast majority won’t find jobs, either going into industry or adjunct positions. Not that you don’t have a point – at some level,… Read more »
IMO you’re working from a very success-myth-oriented picture of what hard work is supposed to look like. Long nights in the lab and keeping your nose to the grindstone are all well and good when one has the emotional resources and energy to do that, but not everyone does have that energy all the time. Human beings need to recharge our batteries – just think about what the word “recreation” literally means – in order to stay productive at a high level. Simply put, a cancer researcher with a few good insights is not required to act like zie is… Read more »
Well, obligation takes both pleasure and passion out of everything.
You will probably be able to help more people/do more good in the long run if you are able to kick back and relax on a somewhat regular basis, than if you work yourself to a seizure before you are 40.
Then again, if you are working with your passion, and putting in 80+ hours a week at it is what gives you pleasure and motivation. Then by all means, have at it!
“So rich that my brain has literally run out of ways to spend the amount of money he has beyond charitable donations”
He might very well be using that money for charitable donations. Another billion or two goes a long way to helping a lot of people.
I wonder how much of the role of money in the success myth is simply due to the fact that it’s easily quantified and displayed.
I’m also intrigued by an idea I once saw on another blog, that rich people are compulsively drawn to attempts to gain true respect (as opposed to sychophantic toadying) because it’s the one thing they can’t buy. Perhaps some of the trend to place “money” at the top of achievements are driven by this, especially in a world where you can buy media presence to exert social pressures.
“The purpose of life is to be happy and to make other people happy”
The purpose of life is whatever you make it.